The Idiots Of UA (BNHA Chatfic)

Yet more drama, U.A gets no breaks

??? and Nezu DMs

???: Watch your back, #257..

Pro heroes chat

Midnight: I'm in Nezu's office and I see this mouse bear dog thing going into a panic attack, tf do i do?

AllMight: WHAT

Aizawa: PUT HIM TO SLEEP NEMURI

Midnight: done.

Ectoplasm: what caused it?

Midnight: he got a message then he panicked after seeing it

Snipe: is his phone still on?

Midnight: yeah why?

Ectoplasm: look at the messages

Nezu: testsubject.jpg

Aizawa: i thought he was out cold?

Nezu: no its just me midnight, hes still sleeping

Vlad King: seriously tho that picture does not scream good news

Vlad King: can someone explain?

AllMight has added HumanLieDetector to the chat

HumanLieDetector: whats up-

HumanLieDetector: ...

HumanLieDetector: Nezu is a liberated test subject from an illegal experimentation laboratory. He's a animal fusion between a dog, mouse and bear. They also forced a Quirk onto him (that same Quirk being High Specs, which is what grants him his ridiculous intelligence) and he managed to survive the process. While he can't fight, he was made a pro hero as a special case because of his unrivalled intelligence other than the Intelli family

AllMight: Intelli?

Aizawa: Yaoyorozu had a run in with Saiko Intelli, she'll know.

Aizawa has added Momo

Momo: her quirk lets her become a crazy genius

Momo: the effect depends on the quality and age of the tea she drinks

Aizawa: so if she were to drink tea from golden imperial tips or whatever you called it, she could potentially be the smartest person in history?

Momo: more or less yeah, I dont know what tea she drinks

HumanLieDetector: but anyway this isn't good, nezu was one of the very few successful projects and hes actually among the best of the them if not the best of them all

HumanLieDetector: they will stop at nothing to get him back

AllMight: surely theyll have issues if we keep a bunch of top 20 heroes around him?

HumanLieDetector: yeah no best jeanist dosent wanna do anything high risk, not since AFO blew a hole in him at Kamino

Jean: Fuck you Naomasa I hope AFO escapes and steals your fucking quirk

HumanLieDetector: that's a lie

Jean: die in a fire you fucker

HumanLieDetector: ....true

AllMight: chill, please?

Jean: go choke on your successors dick

Aizawa: hes 15 and that's not gonna happen on my watch.

Aizawa: besides, he probably has a small package

AllMight: please s t o p talking about izuku's junk

AllMight: i don't want to get assclapped by inko

Jean: you call your successor by his first name?

Aizawa: havent you heard? all might and midoriya's mom are boning

AllMight: A I Z A W A

Aizawa: shut your fuck, you just started dating his mom without his opinion but I was pretty sure he would have been glad

Present Mic: let's not forget the moment he said he'd castrate toshinori if he hurts his mom in any way

Midnight: w h a t

Midnight: the innocent cinnamon roll THREATENED all might?

AllMight: 'and he isnt bluffing' - Bakugou, 2020

AllMight: he speaks from experience

Ectoplasm: Is he really?

AllMight: tell that to Bakugou after he got punched across the face

HumanLieDetector: can we please go back to Nezu?

------

???: Nezu had a panic attack. Everything is going well.

???: Very good. The Pro Heroes?

???: They know what happened, but they don't know who did it.

???: Better if they didn't. They don't need to know that Nezu is my slave.

???: Do try not to get noticed by the 1-A brats. They have All Might's and Endeavor's successors.

------

Tetsu: SHIT SOMEONE GET RECOVERY GIRL

Kendo: Why?

Tetsu: THAT DUMBASS MONOMA TRIED TO COPY MIDORIYA'S QUIRK

Kendo: THAT IDIOT, DIDNT HE SEE HOW POWERFUL IT IS?!

Tetsu: HE LOST HIS E N T I R E ARM

Vlad: WHAT THE F U C K

(I know monoma dosent copy the stockpiled power itself but its my fic)