Beatles Fiendish Thingy's and Other Great Stuff!

dark hookers hearts

The Turtles run into Paul, John, Jane, and Ringo....

Inside the speakeasy, all the girls looked like Twiggy, the iconic pixie-haired waif model whose London fashion had taken the world by storm. We must have walked past fifteen look-alike on our way to our next destination and we actually heard the Beatles before we saw them. It was like being in A Hard Day’s Night.

“Aw, come on John. Leave the candles alone. You’re gonna start a bloody fire in here.”

“I can’t see anything down here, Paul. It’s as dark as a hooker’s heart.”

And then, a female voice.
“Please, Paul. Don’t humor him anymore. This is getting ridiculous. I’m going to leave.”

Graham led us around the corner, where the Fab Four were hanging with their dates at a private table in the back of the room. Well, actually it was the Fab Three — George Harrison was not in attendance.

The deal was, Lennon was actually under the table taking Polaroid pictures up the skirts of his female companions while Paul lent a hand. Ringo laughed at everything, and Paul’s then girlfriend, Jane Asher, was doing her best to drag him out of there.

Dressed in Carnaby Street’s finest, the Beatles were dimly lit, and a halo of light illuminating their mop-top hairdos added just the right ambience to make this already bizarre scene more surreal.

Paul was ducking under the table himself now, helping his business partner illuminate the proceeding with his disposable lighter, and Jane was searching the booth for her coat as we approached them, with Graham in the lead.

“I’ll be leaving now, Paul,” Jane said through clenched teeth as she pushed her way out of the booth and stood there, staring him down.

“Hi, Jane.” Graham was friendly but she didn’t even acknowledge his presence.

“I’m going home, Paul. And I don’t mean your home.” She made her way toward the exit as we walked up in a pack. Jim Tucker actually grabbed her army to stop her en route.

“Hey, Miss Asher. Hi. My name is Jim Tucker and I worked with your brother.” He extended his hand, only to have her push him away.

“Piss off, wanker!” Jane just blew him off and brushed past us on her way out of the club. Jim stood there examining his hand for a long moment.

“Hey, guys,” Graham greeted as Paul frantically scrambled to his feet.

“Jane! Jane! Aw, come on, baby. We’re just having a little fun.” Jane kept walking.

— Howard Kaylan, Jeff Tamarkin, Shell Shocked: My Life with the Turtles, Flo and Eddie, and Frank Zappa etc.