What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas Until it Doesn't- Burgstead

Chapter 4

Kim's P.O.V.

It was now night Will, Nicole, and Zoe had left after dinner. Jay was asleep already. I just couldn't bring myself to go to sleep. Too many things were going through my mind. This whole week has been crazy. I was a wife. I was Jay Halstead's wife. It was still crazy to think about. On the plane a couple thoughts were running through my head about maybe getting a divorce. Having things go back to normal, but I'm glad that I decided against it when I saw him with Zoe tonight. He's so good with her. Seeing him with Zoe might have put a couple of thoughts of him being a dad. He would make a good one, but that would have to wait until at least our first kiss considering how we like to go out of order.
Before any thoughts of kids can even pass through mind as a distant future I need to focus on being a good wife. No, not a good wife, a great wife. We needed to learn to rely on each other. Tell each other everything, or for the most part. I knew that I would have to tell Jay about what happened soon. He already figured out that I've been through something when he learned about the nightmares. It's not that I don't want to tell him, I do. It's just I don't want to talk about it. For some many years I've never talked about it with anyone. Nicole knows not to bring it up. Maybe that's why I'm still having nightmares, because I'm just pushing it down. I tried talking about it, but that only got me more nightmares with no one to comfort me.
I know that I need to tell Jay. I'm pretty sure that him knowing won't really affect anything. If anything it might make us better, but then there's always that what if. I know that Jay won't hurt me intentionally or maybe even unintentionally. There were times with Adam that I wasn't sure. That's why I never told him when we were together. I need to tell Jay. If I wanted this marriage to work he had to know. I was going to tell him tomorrow.