Secrets (Book 2 of "Rock Bottom") // A Tony Lopez Story\\

Chapter 7

Y/N's POV

I finished puking and began to wash my hands as tears streamed down my face. I dried my hands and cleaned up my face, planning to give everyone the impression I was ok. I smiled to the mirror and walked out the bathroom to see Nick, Chris, Enrique, and Liv huddled together talking. Once they heard me come out of the bathroom, they all whipped their heads in my direction and looked at me

Y/N: What?

Nick: Are you ok...?

Y/N: Yeah, I'm always ok-

Ondreaz: Hey, Y/N? Can I steal you for a second?

Y/N: Yeah

He guided me to the balcony and stood in front of me

Ondreaz: Tony wants to talk to you...

Y/N: Why?

Ondreaz: He wants-

He sighed

Ondreaz: He needs you 

Y/N: Where was he when I needed him? He made it pretty clear he wanted nothing to do with me-

Ondreaz: Y/N, you did it to him first-!

His eyebrows furrowed in a sad way and he frowned, as if he was begging for it

Ondreaz: You can't just go and treat him like shit but get pissed when he does it to you!

He lowered his voice

Ondreaz: God, you treated him like the actual devil for something he didn't do. You heard him in the hallway earlier and you heard how he felt. I know my brother and he's fucking broken to pieces. He feels like no one gives two fucks about him anymore. Like he never existed. Like he's invisible to the naked eye. like he doesn't have anyone anymore. Do you see the shit people are saying about him all over social media? That he's a disgrace, doesn't deserve to live, pathetic, should go kill himself. He is on the breaking edge- Goddamn it Y/N, he was going to propose to you! He wanted to spend the rest of his life with you and his kids! He needed you to love him! To know he was still in the picture! To know he still cared! To have someone to go home to without having to sit in a dark room by himself knowing no one cares about him! He wanted to love you but all you've been doing is giving him reasons to love you less and less everyday-!

He sighed as he rubbed his face and I looked down, making me feel like complete shit about myself that I was tearing him apart...

Ondreaz: You need to talk to him asap before it's too late...

I nodded as I held back my tears

Y/N: Where is h-he?

Ondreaz: On your porch waiting for you...

I walked away and made my way to my front porch. I opened the door but he was no where in sight and his car was gone. I sat down on my steps, crying into my arms when I got a notification that a fan tagged me in a post. I opened it, hopefully thinking it would make me feel better. It went straight to Tony's recent post that he posted a few hours earlier. It was a cover with him and Justin Bieber to THEIR new song called Lonely with Benny Blanco, them sitting on top of a roof with their feet hanging off, at least a few feet apart from each other, both their heads down with the dark sunset slowly fading away. Tony always had an amazing voice but he never said that he wanted to grow and pursue that gift. I read the caption, it saying:

"To everyone out in the world that knows my name... @justinbieber @bennyblanco #lonely #newsingle"

I read through the comments, many of his fans saying that they were always there for him and that they aren't going anywhere and many of his haters saying that no one cares about his happiness, that no one cares if he's lonely, that no one cares about him in general and that he should just go ahead and die...

(will probably make you cry cause I did. This song is just too relatable, especially right now)

I wiped a few tears off my face as I pressed on the link, turning my volume up and pressing play. I don't even know why I'm playing it but then Ondre sat next to me, listening with me. I guess he hasn't heard it either...

Tony: Everybody knows my name now. But something about it still feels strange... Like looking in a mirror, tryna steady yourself and seeing somebody else... And everything is not the same now... It feels like all our lives have changed... Maybe when I'm older, it'll all calm down but it's killing me now... What if you had it all... but nobody to call...? Maybe then you'd know me...

Justin: Cause I've had everything... but no one's listening-

Tony and Justin: And that's just fucking lonely...

Tony: I'm so lonely...

Justin: Lonely...

Tony: Everybody knows my past now like my house was always made of glass... And maybe that's the price you pay for the money and fame at an early age... And everybody saw me sick and it felt like no one gave a shit... They criticized the things I did as an idiot kid...

Justin: What if you had it all... but nobody to call...? Maybe then you'd know me...

Tony: Cause I've had everything... but no one's listening-

Tony and Justin: And that's just fucking lonely... I'm so lonely... Lonely... 

Justin: I'm so lonely...

Tony: Lonely....

We were both speechless... Our emotions got the best of us but Ondre already started crying at the beginning. I took my phone and threw it all my wall, then I began to punch it, causing my hands to get bloody. Ondre tried to stop me but I wouldn't let him

Ondreaz: Y/N, S-Stop! P-Please!

A car pulled up into my driveway when we heard a loud crack and I screamed as a sharp pain was sent up my fingers and into my arm. I dropped to the floor screaming in pain, both physically and mentally. Ondre dropped down to the floor and held me as everyone rushed out of the house and huddled around me

Ondreaz: Y/N!

Nick: What happened!?

Olivia: Oh my god, Y/N!

Chris: Are you ok!?

???: Everyone fucking move and give her space!

Everyone moved except for Ondre and Tony came running up my porch with a worried but cautious look on his face. Just seeing him after listening to his song made me break down again. I busted into even more tears than I already was and he carefully grabbed my hand and looked over it

Tony: You'll be ok! Come on!

He helped me up and I couldn't believe his touch. I haven't felt in forever. He ran me to his car as everyone followed and got in the back. I was sweating as the pain got worse with the slightest movement, even when the car turned. I yelped at one point and Tony grabbed my hand, placing it gently on top of his as he drove, believing it will at least relieve some of the pain. As everything was going on, the only thing he cared about was making sure I was ok...