Secrets (Book 2 of "Rock Bottom") // A Tony Lopez Story\\

Chapter 8

Nurse: And there you are! Make sure to wrap the cast in plastic while you take a shower so it doesn't get wet, same thing if you end up going swimming

Y/N: Thank you...

Nurse: You're welcome, the miss iconic Y/L/N. You just have to fill out some papers at the front and you'll be free to go

I smiled weakly as she left and I analyzed the naked cast, already imagining, being the cheesy person I am, making everyone signing it as I sat on the little examination bed. Everyone sat around the room in silence until Nick came up to me and looked at me. I furrowed my eyebrows until he pushed his body into mine, embracing me. It made me open my eyes wider as his warm body wrapped around my cold one. My breath hitched and my eyes welled up as I buried my head into his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist, pulling him closer to my body. He kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back as he whispered

Nick: It's ok...

Before I knew it, I felt multiple arms around us as everyone joined the hug. They all held each other until they eventually pulled away. I wiped my eyes as I looked at Tony. He was fiddling with his bracelet as he leaned against the wall next to the door, completely pretending like he doesn't exist. I guess he wasn't pretending since that's like how we all treated him...

He then looked at the others then at me

Tony: Ready?

I looked at everyone and then nodded slowly

Tony: Alright then, let's go-

He grabbed his jacket off the arm chair nearby and left the room, Ondre helping me up as everyone followed after him. I walked up to the front desk and signed papers, paying for my medical and insurance bills, and then walking out

***

Everyone got out of the car and Tony and I were the last to get out. Everyone ended up going inside but Tony lingered around, making sure I was getting inside safely but hiding it, well- at least trying to. He was about to open the door when I stopped and looked at the ground

Y/N: T-Tony..?

He turned around 

Tony: What's up?

Y/N: Can you come here please?

He hesitated but then walked over to me slowly, keeping his distance. He looked down on me and I couldn't even look him in the eye. I then hugged him and he just stood there

Y/N: Thank you...

He wrapped his arms around me not even for a second then pulled away

Tony: No problem

He began to walk away

Y/N: W-Wait-

Tony: Hm?

Y/N: Can we please talk about this?

Tony: Talk about what? There's nothing to talk about-

Y/N: Yes, there is! You were about to pledge your life to me and now you won't even think twice about it! I know you are hurt and you are going to a lot and you can blame it all on me because it's my fault! But let me fix it! I am trying to fix it! But I can only do it if you will just let me! Look, I know what you're going through and I might not understand it but I want things to work! I want us to work! And I'm sorry for what I've done to you! I'm sorry for being the reason you are going through this and I still care about you! I know you exist! I know you're still in the picture! I know that these twins are yours! I'm sorry! I don't know what I have to do to earn your forgiveness! And I can't say I'm sorry enough for you to forgive me! 

I grabbed his hands

Y/N: I still love you-!

He pulled his hands away from mine as he looked away and his tears were a blink away from falling

Tony: Don't- Don't give me that... Not after everything you've done to me-

Y/N: I said I'm-!

Tony: And I heard you... and I believe you but... I can't do this anymore Y/N... you've caused way too much hurt and emotion and sadness and anger into my life and I-

His breath hitched

Tony: I don't want to do this anymore... and I need peace in my life right now... even if that means you aren't apart of it...

I shook my head

Y/N: No... No, no, you can't do this! Not now! You are going to be a father and there is no way I'm going to let them go their life knowing that their father walked out on them-!

Tony: You can't force me to stay! You and everyone else in this goddamn world has put my life through hell and I'm fucking fed up! And if that means I disappear off the face of the fucking earth then so fucking be it because no one will give two shits anyway-!

And then his tears began to fall

Tony: I'm hurting! I am hurting so much inside and all people are doing is laughing in my fucking face, telling me that I am a disgrace and that I worship the devil and that I should go fucking kill myself! And honestly, I've been considering lately! So, if I don't want to be there for my kids and fuck up their life as much as everyone has fucked up mine, then deal with the shit because I don't want my kids going through the same shit I'm going through right now! And as fucked up this world is, they're going to end up like me!

Then he whispered

Tony: A waste of space that shouldn't have existed at all-

Y/N: Do not talk about yourself like that-!

Tony: I have to go-

Then he ran past me, got into his car, and left me in my cold driveway