Wish I were Heather(Jaden Hossler fanfic)

~Chapter Eight- You Don't Understand~

I get to my room and turn on my bluetooth speaker hook my phone up and put Heather by Conan Gray on repeat and turn it all the way up. I start by unpacking all my clothes and organizing them in my closet and drawers then i did the same with my shoes. Then I unpack and set up my vanity and makeup shit. Then I put up all my random shit. It took me surprisingly only an hour. I changed into a sports bra and shorts and look at the time its only 4pm ugh. I turned down the music a little bit and went to walk out the door when I heard voices. Which I realized is Kio and Josh. 

K- What the fuck happened we were gone like for 45 minutes. 

Jsh- her and bryce went upstairs to talk and then we hear her yell something along the lines of "what am i suppose to do she is down there and so is he how am i suppose to act like im not in love with him" then they came walking downstairs and we were just standing there is shock then she like fell to the ground and broke down crying when she realized we heard. We got her to calm down and watch netflix and I cuddled up with her on the couch then Jaden came in and you saw what happened next. She fucking loves him bro he fucked her up bad. He needs to do something and quick. She wouldn't let Bryce in there or Mads or Anthony or Me. Jaden hasn't even tried. He knows she won't let him in. Mads doesn't even know what's going on. Kio it fucking hurts me to see her like this. This isn't our best friend. She is so broken. I hate it. I love her smile and her laugh, I hate her frowns and her tears. I hate it but it's like there is nothing we can do. 

I hear Kio let out a shaky breath. 

K- Bro this is so fucked. Did you hear her screaming to the song earlier she sounded so hurt. and lost. That song is going to be engraved in my brain forever and in a bad way. 

I fell against the door and slid down till I hit the floor. I can't even cry there is nothing left. All I can do is sit here and die on the inside. I feel like my whole world has been ripped out from under me. I start thinking back to Me and Jaden cuddling, pulling all-nighters, going on late night drives, when we got high for the first time, the first time he kissed me. He was my first everything I lost my virginity to him. I trust him with everything. I feel as if that was all just ripped away from me. Like he is gone. Like he isn't mine anymore.  I've lost him. No one will ever understand how much this hurts how lost I feel. I start listening to the song again. 

H- WHY WOULD YOU EVER KISS ME IM NOT EVEN HALF AS PRETTY YOU GAVE HER YOUR SWEATER ITS JUST POLYESTER BUT YOU 

Then I started to cry again. 

Jsh&K- But you like her better wish I were heather. 

I hear them say through the door. 

H- Guys please. 

K- Hannah please let me in we don't have to talk I can just hold you or you can scream at me, you can cry you can stay quiet just please let me in bubs. 

I shake my head. 

H- No kio you don't understand.

K- Don't understand what bubs? 

H- How much he hurt me, im numb, how broken i am, i can't even cry there is nothing left all I can do is sit here and watch my world fall apart around me. 

I hear sniffles from the other side of the door. 

H- Kio no don't cry. 

K- That's not me that's Griffin Josh and uh Jaden. 

H- oh 

I whisper. 

K- Hannah I know I won't understand. Ill never be able too, but I hate seeing you like this locking yourself in a room and crying. Just let me in. Or one of the boys or we can call someone to come over. 

H- The only person I want is Amy. I want my mom. 

K- Okay okay we will get her here but in the meantime how about one of us. 

I sit there and think. 

H- Fine I don't care who don't tell me just send someone in. Kio i'll text you the code you punch it in i don't want anyone else having it. 

K- Okat bubs. 

I pull out my phone and see my lockscreen a picture of me and Jaden last week asleep on each other in the car. I smile but die a little more on the inside. 

Imessages 

Hannah- 020801 

Kio- Jaden's birthday? 

Hannah- yeah :( 

I sighed and stood up and sat on the small sofa I had in my room waiting for one of the boys to walk through the door. I hear the keypad beep and the door unlock. I see Kio. He closes the door. I run to him and jump into his arms. He walks me over to my bed and lays us down. 

H- I HATE HIM. WHY DID HE DO THIS TO ME. WHY? HE IS THE REASON MY HEART BEATS THE REASON I BREATHE. WHY! HE LEAD ME ON KIO I HATE HIM I HATE HIM. 

K- I know I know bubs. Im so sorry. This sucks. He loves you. Remember that okay? 

H- I know he loves me. But he doesn't love love me. He promised, WE promised no more secrets. Then all of a sudden there is a whole fucking girl. That he has been talking to for a whole ass 4 months. Like uhhh. what? When they started making out I felt my heart completely break and it just shattered more and more by the second. I want to be with him. I fell in love with my best friend. My heart beats for him and only him. But he is with her and he seemed so happy when he saw her today. I haven't seen him that happy in forever.

K- i've seen him happier. ya know. 

H- when? 

K- Every time he is around you. Those drafts you send Bryce I watched them too he was so happy he was mesmerized by you it wouldn't let go of you. And you my god Hannah I swear i've never seen someone smile so big and laugh so purely.  You make each other so happy. 

H- Yeah but he doesn't see that. Kio all he sees is her. You don't understand im just his best friend that all I've ever been that's all i'll ever be. 

TBC