King of My Heart- Kageyama Tobio

Chapter 15

"Kiyoko-San, we are a mess." I say and we both giggle.

"Yeah, we are." She agrees, smiling.

Since we got to her house, we've eaten our favorite snacks while watching romance movies, and told each other stories about our lives. We also talked about my breakup which resulted in me crying, and her giving me advice. Then we talked about her love for running which then resulted in her crying and me giving her advice.

It feels really nice to have someone to do this with. I think we both needed this because we were able to get a lot off of our chests. We lay side by side, but a couple feet apart, on a blanket in her room.

"I haven't known Kageyama as long as you have," Kiyoko says, turning over to face me. I roll onto my side to look at her.

"but I think he really does care about you. I'm not sure what goes on in his head, but when you two were dating, on the court he was significantly happier. I don't know if anyone else noticed but I always observe the players, so I did. When he played with you...it felt like he played with more purpose. He is always an amazing player, no matter what. But when you're on the court...it's just different. I don't know." Kiyoko bites her lip.

"I think he's just happy to see how far I've come by him training with me." I chuckle. "I don't really think he cares so much that it's me."

"I think he does care that it's you, he's not like that with Hinata." She points out. "I don't want you to hate me for saying this...but maybe you guys didn't love each other." My eyes widen, and I look at her in shock. Where did this come from...

"I did love him." I frown. "I still do."

"But you two are young...how do you even really know what love is? How does anyone know what love is?" She turns onto her back, staring at the ceiling. The last part seemed like she's saying it more to herself rather than me.

"You guys have known each other for years, right? Both of your parents are never around, and you guys take care of each other. You've stuck with one another since then, and spent a lot of your childhood together playing volleyball as well. Maybe what you guys feel is just something that built up over time. Maybe it's something that your guys's brain has tricked you into thinking is love. What if it's just your guys's instinct to take care of each other since you've been doing it for so long? Because if it was love, there wouldn't be so many problems, right?" I frown, I don't like what she's saying. That's stupid, and now I feel like going home.

But maybe she has a point...

"Maybe..." I mumble, thinking. Or maybe I love him, but he doesn't love me. He did say that he doesn't love me anymore, but maybe he just never did. Maybe he was just confused.

"Can we not talk about this anymore?" I ask, stifling tears. "It kind of hurts." I chuckle.

"I'm sorry." Kiyoko apologizes.

For the rest of the night we just talked about random things. However, the whole time I couldn't get the fact that there's a possibility that my love for Kageyama has always been one sided. By the time we fall asleep, I'm convinced that it's true. For some reason, though it still hurts like hell, I feel comfort in the fact that Kageyama didn't love me in the first place, rather than he only loved me for a short amount of time.

I spend the next week busying myself with whatever I can do. I figured that if I kept myself busy I wouldn't have time to think about the boy with anger issues. Every day after practice I'd hang out with someone so I can avoid walking home with Kageyama. Actually, I've been successfully ignoring him in more ways than that. I take a different route to school every morning, I avoid him in the halls, and don't talk to him during practice. It's been easy, more so since Kageyama hasn't made any advances to talking to me either.