find what you love... (mafia frerard/berard)

chapter 6.

that night i ended up blowing frank in his office. i felt like i didn't deserve anything from him. i felt terrible.
"good job baby..."
i couldn't respond. i was so guilty. i just whimpered and put my head against his leg. when he started petting me i felt so so guilty.
"what's the matter, gee bear?"
"i- i just missed you that's all..."
"aw i missed my baby too..." he said as he gave me a gentle kiss. i didn't deserve his love after what i had done to him.
"i think it's your bedtime gee...want me to tuck you in sweetheart?"
as much as i wanted to be comforted i knew i really didn't deserve it.
"no i can do it im a big boy."
"aw i'm sorry for ignoring you. let frankie help." he picked me up and brought me into my room, tucking me in with a kiss.
"i really am sorry." he whispered as he handed me my froggie, leap.
"you don't need to apologize gee bear. i was so bad to you." but i had done much worse. he closed the door behind him and a few hours later when everyone was asleep the door opened again.
"gee?" it was bert. i tried to ignore him because i still had feelings for him and didn't want to hurt frankie. that didn't stop bert from shaking me awake.
"hey bud, you awake?" there was no way i could pretend to be asleep after all that shaking so i gave in.
"y-yeah. what's up?" i whispered.
with that he got on top of me and started to kiss me.
"i just missed you and started thinking about you. you're just so beautiful and kind." he said in between kisses. i felt his hard on through the covers. he started to undress himself and then tugged on my shirt. i felt like if i didn't i would be leading him on. so i followed through.
"oh yeah baby you like that?" bert growled.
i whimpered in response. the mixed emotions confused me but soon i gave in. this felt like bliss. the way all the attention was on me. with frank he always wanted everything to be about him and how much i appreciated what he was doing for me. with bert he wanted to make me feel special. a while later we were finished. i came down from my high and once again all i felt was pure guilt. if i stopped things with bert, he would feel used. if i continued, frank would find out and be heartbroken.