Love Me (boyxboy)

Chapter Ten- The Sun

oh man. i dont know what I'm doing with this book tbh. this is kinda a filler chapter too btw

 I could see his strength within his eyes but I knew that strength was slowly fading.

Chapter Ten- The Sun

Ryan's POV

 Awkward was the only word that I could use to describe how my meeting with Logan was. I was determined to set myself apart from this boy but here I was, at his house. All I had to do was finish our stupid assigned project and I would be done with Logan for  good.

"I brought some sodas. I didn't know if you were thirsty," Logan said as he came back into the room, two cans of pepsi snug in his arms.

I muttered a 'thanks' before taking the can from his grasp. I watched his every move, making myself aware of his body language and how he moved. He seemed tense as if he was scared to be around me. I'm sure I looked the same way, flustered and stiff.

"So, what are we doing for this proj-" But he cut me off.

"Do you hate me or something?" he blurted out, his huge eyes staring into mine. A little suprised by his sudden action, I repositioned myself and leaned back against his bed.

"Why would you think that I hate you?" I asked, making sure to stare back at him. Sighing, he dropped his gaze to his hands as they played with a peice of loose fabric on his jeans. I couldn't see his face but I knew he was probably blushing like he always did when he was nervous.

"You said you didn't want to hang out anymore," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. I went to speak again but he cut me off. "I know what you did to Scott. You shouldn't have done that."

"He hurt you, Logan."

"I can take care of myself." He lifted his eyes to look up at me. I could see his strength within his eyes but I knew that strength was slowly fading. He couldn't take care of himself. He needed me to be strong for him.

"No you can't, Logan. Just let me-"

"I don't want him to hurt you, Ryan!" he yelled over me. And for about three minutes, it was dead silent. I had never heard Logan yell or talk an any volume higher than a whisper. But most importantly, he had yelled at me. "I don't want him to hurt you like he hurt me."

He brought his hand to his face, wiping away the tears that I didn't even notice were there. I pulled him into my chest and held him tight, scared that if I let go he would leave. I was wasting all this time trying to stay away from him when he needed me the most. He was breaking down and I needed to be there for him, even if that meant tearing down the walls that I had been building for the past ten years. I had to let someone in, just this one time.

"I'm sorry, Logan," I whispered into his hair, my hand rubbing small circles into his back. He smelt nice, like soap and nature. "I'm not leaving, okay? I'm staying right here." He sniffled in response as he pulled himself closer to me.

"Can we talk about something else?" I nodded, slowly, my hand still combing through his soft hair.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Anything, everything," he paused, "Do you have a goal in life or something like that?" I chuckled at that. I had never thought about my future, mostly because I didn't believe that I had a future. All I planned to do was run away from this sick place, to get away from my father and finally be somebody. But I couldn't tell Logan that.

"Not really. I'm just ready to leave this place. What about you?"

"I plan on leaving. Going somewhere where all I can see is the bright light of the sun," he raised his hand as if he was imagining that he could touch and hold the sun, "and know, that everything can be okay." He rolled onto his back, his head weightless on my lap, as he stared up at the ceiling, a look of tranquility present on his face.

"That's it?" He chuckled.

"I think I want to go to college, for art or something. I don't know if I'm good enough for that, though."

"Are you kidding me?" I stood up, my hands gesturing to the millions of paintings and drawings around the room. "You are the best artist I know. These paintings are absolutely beautiful, Logan."

He blew a piece of his hair out of his eye before looking up at me with that sweet smile of his. "You're just saying that."

"No, I'm serious." I sat on my knees, in front of him. "Everything about you, is beautiful." With one last look, I took his small face in my hands and placed a light kiss on his rose colored lips.