A Hopeless Wind (NEUST Series #1) (COMPLETED)

Chapter 2

Being alone sometimes is not that bad because you'll learn to stand by your own.

I don't have even one friend I can consider when I was in my elementary days. Tuwing may iniu-utos sa akin ang aming guro ay nilalakad ko lamang iyon ng mag-isa. Kapag may groupings madalas ay mag-isa ko lamang ginagawa iyon.

Palagi lang akong naka-upo sa isang sulok, tahimik, madalas pinagmamasdan ko lamang ang ibang mga estudyante at kaklase ko na may sari-sariling mundo, masaya at naglalaro sa maliit na playground sa aming paaralan.

In a simple words, I didn't enjoy may elementary days. Hindi ko naranasan magkaroon ng kaibigan na makakasama ko sa saya at kung ano pa man na maaari kong ma-diskubre sa mura ko pa na edad.

Then I was in my fifth grade, I had this classmate name Raldon. I considered him as my friend, dahil kapag mayroong nanga-asar sa akin ay siya ang nagtatanggol. Nang minsang pumasok ako at may lagnat ay siya ang nagsabi sa aming guro na masama ang aking pakiramdam kaya naman ipinahatid na ako pauwi sa aming bahay.

He was there to filled my loneliness, para bang sa kabila nang pagiging tahimik ko ay mayroon siyang daan para pasukin ang mundo ko na tila hindi maintindihan ng iba.

The sky looked leaden that time, then after a minute, it started to pour light rain. We're the ones who left in front of our classroom, but he chose not to go first since my mother isn't still there to fetch me.

I still remember the genuine smile on my lips at that time. My mother was holding my hand, we were already walking out of the school. I turned my head back to glance at him who was still standing in front of our classroom.

When our eyes met he put his hands on both sides of his forehead, then stuck out his tongue and I also did the same, which is normal to us when we just want to tease each other, and we both waved our hand as a signed of goodbye.

"Siya ba iyong kwine-kwento mo sa akin? Siguro ay may gusto ka roon kay Raldon, tama ba anak?" Pinigilan ko ang aking pagngiti, ngunit sa dulo ay dahan-dahan na lamang tumango.

I was a kid at that time having a lot of little crushes, but of course, Raldon for me is different. He's my first unexpected friend, dahil na rin sa siya ay lalaki, and yes, I admired him at that time even though I know who's the one he likes, it's my cousin Astley Erica, who's in the other section.

It was Monday after that day happened. Masaya akong pumasok, ni hindi ko na nai-isip ang mga kaklase ko na kung minsan ay ina-asar ako sa pagiging tahimik ko. Dumating na ang guro namin, ngunit hinihintay ko pa rin siya.

Nakaharap ako sa pintuan ng classroom, ini-isip kung bakit sa tagal ng mga nagdaan na panahon ay ngayon lang siya nahuli sa klase. Madalas kasi pagdating ko sa classroom namin ay narito na siya, naglilinis, nagdi-dilig ng mga halaman at kung minsan pa ay naglalampaso ng sahig.

Labis na akong naga-alala ng sa mga sumunod na araw ay hindi pa rin siya pumasok, hanggang sa umabot ng isang linggo. Wala rin naman akong nabalitaan sa iba ko pa na mga kaklase tungkol sa kaniya.

Ini-isip ko tuloy kung baka mayroon na nangyari sa kanilang pamilya, marahil ay malaking problema dahil minsan niya rin nai-kwento sa akin na broken family sila.

Simula ng mawala na rin siya ay tila bumalik na sa lahat, mas dumami pa ang nambu-bully sa akin, mga salita na masasakit, madalas ay may nagsa-sign language sa aking mismong harapan, may nagsasabi na pipi raw ako, at madalas pa tuwing nagsusulat ako ay may bigla na lamang lulukot sa aking papel. I just hide the pain inside myself, I never tell it to anyone especially to my mother and father.

Bullying can break someone. It can be so much more damaging than the physical hurts. The tears because of hurtful words, because of those bad doings. And you can't understand the fear you can inflict to someone not until a part of you also crumbles down.