Masquerade

Part Six: From dreams and school

I just poke around in my food.
Yeah, it seems like Eda is kinda talented in cooking, but I am just not hungry, not even a bit.
The mixture of excitement and trying to keep the hard shell are just to much,
it feels like I have to throw up, let it all out.
But both would be just unnecessary, would rip open a soft spot.

"Not hungry?", theres this concerned tone in her voice,
"Yeah, probably the new environment, you know?",
"Oh, ok, I understand, just need some time to adjust",
"Right, good you understand".
Just play it cool, be the tough girl with self esteem and everything just go easy.
Even if I have to suppress the sickening feeling for it to play out.

Eda takes over the task cleaning after dinner, I guess.
Slowly I climb the stairs to my room, a perk is that I have the whole floor for myself.
I checked both of the other doors and one room was totally empty, the other was just a simple storage room, so at least no disturbance in the night.

Tomorrow is my first day at school, a new one, I don't even know where it is.
Google Maps say its just ten minutes on foot from here, so with the expectation, that the principal sure wanna talk with me, I should start some time earlier.
Or coming a bit late?
Would look good if I stage it right, it shouldn't look like I am just to dumb to be there at the right time, more like I don't care, sounds good.
Anything else I have to think off?

Maybe these families?

If those snobs already have some offsprings, they surely go to this school.
Blights and Milanis?
Easy, just a quick search on Instagram and I find what I searched for.
Three Blights and one Milani.
Seems like every one of them go to the same school.
Well, nothing much to do about it, I should try and get in one of their circles.
My leg is restless again, I shouldn't overthink everything again.
"I am an artist in improvisation, hope it works out".

"Just hide, listen to me, just hide here and everything is gonna be fine".
Fine. Fine?
I cant breath, I cant move, again, stuck in the horrors, the shadow of the past.
"No, I wont do it", a scream without air, helpless I am being pushed away.
Warm, sticky, a bit messy, something tastes like iron.

"Everything is fine, let it go, it end every time, doesn't it", a calming, soft hand holding mine.
It is calming, feeling like someone who knows how it feels.
Is it another part of my dreams?
Just a little break before a new low?
"Dont let go" I whimper,
"I don't want to go back",
"I wont let, you are safe".
The hand glides over my forehead.
"You don't have to tell me, what scared you, just tell me if you are ready".
She keeps me comforting until I drift away.

As I wake up, I curse myself, everything what happened.
Eda now knows definitely that something is wrong with me, I probably screamed in my sleep.
Another nightmare, the same scenes.
I want to do something against it, but what you can do again your own mind?
No way to trick of fool it, no way to run away from a dream.

"Have fun in school", Eda is waving from the kitchen,
"Sure, cant even wait", she chuckles a bit.
It gets a small smile, not more and less, I cant really get a clear picture of her,
she is different from the other families, a strange warmth surrounds her, one I never felt before.
Just after half a day and this is somewhat of a safe place, Im getting soft.

The school is old, damn old.
From outside, the facade looks like one of an asylum, straight from a horror movie, like what?
Hope it isn't one of these hardcore conservative schools, but I will see, or?
Not like o would have a choice as well.

A mass of people at the entrance, looks like even with my planned delay I catched the rush hour.
So it isn't at least one of these types of schools.
Just get into the stream then, I guess, meet the principal and then meet the class, build up your image and reputation.

Through the cramped halls, heading straight in the direction the arrows guide me.
My target is a wooden door, a dark wooden door with golden letters.
"Principal Bump", if he has such a door I bet he is one old dude in a perfect sitting suit with a bow tie.
I knock, a strong but gentle voice tells me to come in.
"Miss Pittsburgh I assume?", a point shot.
An old man with suit and bow tie in an office furnished with dark wood, only the scars on his head are like a scratch in all of this.
"Yeah and you are the principal I guess, looks like we both are right",
"Please sit down, we have to finish the paperwork and you cut short on the time",
"Didn't assume it would take much time",
"It doesn't, but you could have perhaps planned some buffer, or?",
"Well, I didn't, so can we begin to get this behind",
"You and your new mother have much in common, that is going to be ... well, we see".
So even Eda knows him as a principal and he doesn't seem very pleased about her, that's interesting.

After getting some papers, the rules, informationfor some events, my time table, I can finally leave, now I just have to findthe room after storing all of this away.
The halls are now empty, for everyone else the school day started.
Before entering the room I take some deep breathes, just act normal, far fromexcited, be tough.
I open the door after my little pep talk, its showtime.