Elements - cash fan fiction -

Make You Feel My Love

I'm lying in bed with my head buried under my pillow. I never replied to Cameron's text, there was really no excuse that I could provide him so I chose just to say nothing at all. I bet it probably pissed him off even more but I just want to hide from the world right now.

I haven't even been on twitter or creeped or anything. I know it's unusual for me but I'm just not feeling up to it, I'm in a horrible mood and the only person that can make me feel better probably hates me right now. Hot tears roll down my cheeks and I don't even know why, I just feel overwhelmed, I guess. There's been a lot of changes in my life recently and it's all getting to me now.

Once the tears start it's like I can't stop them and I begin to cry softly unable to shake the heavy feeling from my heart. I just feel like I fuck up everything; my relationship, my friendships and probably my career. I'm terrible, I'm horrible, I don't know why I even moved out here. Nobody is going to cast me in a movie. Cameron already has final call back for a movie called Expelled. I'm still doing youtube and it just feels small time compared to being on the big screen.

I don't hear when Cameron enters my room, I guess my hearing is muffled from the pillow and my soft sobs. I feel him when he sits on the bed and moves the pillow from my head.

"Fuck..." he murmurs as he pulls me into his arms. "I'm fucking sorry, baby I didn't mean to make you cry."

I bury my face in his neck, wetting his shirt with my tears, I seek comfort from him. He's the only one that can make me feel better.

"I'm just feeling overwhelmed," I cry quietly. "Just... second guessing myself and wondering if this move was the right step for me. I just feel like... I'm a horrible actor, no one is going to cast me. I fucked up my friendships, you're obviously not happy with me. I just feel like a failure."

Cameron rocks me gently as he caresses my back soothingly.

"Don't fucking say that, baby. You're an awesome actor, things aren't going to happen right away, sometimes they take time. Just remember we're going to be filming our movie in January and it's going to be awesome. Me and you, baby, together just like we planned. And I'm happy with you, I'm so happy with you it's crazy. I'm just a jealous asshole who needs to learn how to react better. I keep saying the same thing but I just get so possessive over you that I hate it when you spend time with anyone else, even if they're just friends." Cameron tells me intensely. His tone of voice tells me that he's being completely honest and he knows exactly what to say to make me feel better.

I sniffle softly as Cameron lifts my head and wipes my tears tenderly. He presses a soft kiss on my lips and I lean onto his mouth. I can't help but like the fact that he's so possessive over me, it shows how much he loves me and cares about what I do. I'm probably the same way with him, he just hasn't hung out with anyone of his friends lately. I wonder if i'll react the same way when he goes out with his friends from high school without me. I don't really fit in with them, I've met them before. I know I'm for sure jealous of his friendship with Chris. I saw the video he filmed when Chris was leaving and I wonder if there isn't more there than meets the eye. I've never really brought it up to Cam even though I've been tempted to.

I wonder what's going to happen when Chris returns from Peru, I hope Cameron doesn't leave me behind. I know I wasn't a replacement for Chris, but when I'm feeling insecure I start to think about these things. Chris is closer in age to Cameron than I am, even though Cameron relates to me perfectly I can't help but think about it.

Cameron deepens the kiss and all the thoughts leave my mind as I concentrate on the feeling of his lips against mine. He dominates the kiss and I love it. He pushes me back onto the bed and I lie back. I'm already hard for him as he pulls down my boxers.