Surrendering to the Dark

Somewhat Punishment

After breakfast, I went out on my balcony and listened to the caldimigs morning song while soaking up rays from the Sonet sun. Because the spot was so peaceful, after the caldimigs were done, I decided to stay out there and meditate.

This time it didn't take long before I tapped into a powerful stream of the Force. I sensed it all around me and in me. As I literally felt blood moving through my veins, I became aware of life surrounding me. From the tiny bug crawling on the balcony railing to the microscopic organisms living in the dew drops that had yet to evaporate for the day. I heard the heartbeats of people throughout the palace, each beating at their own rhythm and felt each soul's yearning for peace. Sensing all of this life on such a base level brought my attention to my own. Why was I here? What was I put in this galaxy to accomplish?

With a flash of bright light, a new vision started playing in my mind. My mother was in a temple setting. She was younger than in the other visions, her eyes bright with youth. Wearing strange tan robes, I watched as she swirled her lightsaber in the air. Alone, she was obviously practicing a fighting form. I marveled at her graceful movements, power pulsing through her limbs as her lightsaber arced and hummed. The vision ended abruptly and I was left wondering what my mother was like as a young woman and questioning how I was having visions of her from before I was born.

Later that night, I crawled into bed with thoughts of Ren swirling in my mind. He had said he would contact me again this evening, but now it was getting very late. It wasn't long before my thoughts of him strayed to more personal things. If I kept this up, I would have to relieve myself.

I nearly jumped out of my skin as my holopad beeped. Answering, I heard his voice before I even saw him. "I could feel you thinking about me, Princess." As always, the modulated voice sent chills racing across my skin.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Can you read my thoughts through this holopad?" I asked.

"No."

Thank goodness. I would not want him to know just how much he affects me. I don't want him to have that much power over me.

"I was thinking about how my training would go when you got back. Wondering if I would be able to learn to use the Force as well as my mother."

"Liar."

Oh kriff!

"I thought you said you couldn't read my mind?"

"I did. But when I felt you thinking of me, it was not a vague wondering of training. It was intense and focused—a physical need."

Blushing, I was gratefully distracted when someone walked past the screen behind Ren. Catching my wandering eye, Ren stated, "That is one of my Knights named Vicrul. He is the most powerful Force-user of my Knights and also the deadliest."

The quick glimpse I got of his mask-less face was mostly of a side profile. He appeared handsome, but grim. Did being a deadly Force-user make him this way? Would I become like him?

"Is that what you want to turn me into, a deadly Force-user?" I asked out loud.

"That is entirely your decision."

Grateful he couldn't hear my thoughts, I knew I didn't want to become that. I would die before becoming a mindless killing machine for the First Order. He said it was my decision, but I got the feeling it meant as long as I made the decision he wanted me to make.

Changing the subject, he asked, "How was your meditation today?"

"It went quite well. I was able to connect with the Force much easier," I stated proudly. "Does this mean I won't need any punishment?" I asked darkly.