Surrendering to the Dark

Constant Craving

It was a fretful night's sleep. I kept dreaming of Ren and how he looked in my shower with those drops of water cascading down his beautiful body. He said he would be back this morning for training, so I readied myself in suitable attire and meandered out to the meadow.

Sitting cross-legged, I meditated on the Force and practiced levitating rocks. I managed to move the large stone from yesterday to four meters away. Proud of myself, I couldn't wait to show Ren what I had accomplished. A roar overhead signaled his arrival and my insides jumped in anticipation.

I couldn't keep doing this. No matter what side of himself he showed me, deep down, he was dark and twisted. Wasn't he?

He came straight to the meadow, knowing I was there, sensing my presence. Dressed in his full Kylo Ren uniform, he struck an imposing figure as his heavy footfalls drew nearer. His mask was locked in place, barricading me against whatever emotions fleeted across his face.

What mood is he in?

"The training kind, Princess." His voice was flat and robotic through the helmet.

Bringing his attention to my accomplishment, I pointed to the large stone from yesterday. With only a passing glance, he dismissed my effort.

"You will stand on one leg and jump."

"I will stand on one leg and jump," I repeated as I performed his command, thoughts muddled and hazy.

What the kriff? Why did I say that? Why am I jumping like an idiot?

"I just Force-pushed you. Because you are Force-sensitive yourself, it took more power, but still doable. This is a valuable ability to obtain mastery over. It can give you an advantage over physically formidable adversaries or in political strategizing."

Or convincing Admirals you didn't just bang the kriff out of the planet's princess.

"Enough." The coldness in his tone sent a pang of hurt sizzling through my heart. Standing at attention, but not looking at Ren, I waited for his next admonishment.

"Now, I want you to concentrate on the Force, think of something you want me to do and attempt to implant the idea in my mind. You will not succeed, but I will be able to gauge how well you do."

Concentrating as hard as I could, I spoke a command and attempted to compel him to comply. "Touch your mask with your left hand."

Nothing happened and Ren just stood there motionless. "Again." His harsh tone continued to cut me.

Repeating the steps, I tried a second time without success. "You are not connected with the Force! Again!" he stated loudly.

This time, when I concentrated on the Force, I felt a jolt of power flow through me. "Touch your mask with your left hand."

His reaction was immediate. His left hand began to ascend toward his mask, but stopped midair, then descended a few centimeters before rising again. He struggled back and forth until finally breaking the Force-push. It must of taken a great effort as evidenced by his rapid and heavy breaths.

"I thought you said I wouldn't succeed in..." My body suddenly stiffened and mouth clamped shut.

Asshole. What's the matter? You don't like being wrong?

Ren took two long strides toward me before stopping and tilting his head down. I got the feeling he was regaining his control, reigning in his famous temper. With a slow cadence, his next words came out as a warning. "Princess, don't push me. I promise you will not like what I become."