Stay With Me (Merome)

Chapter 23

Jerome's POV

I felt myself drift out of my uneasy slumber, head pounding. It was the day after the crash, and in no way was I much happier about having to stay here. Mitch and the doctors had said it was to keep an eye on me to make sure there wasn't anything wrong with me, but I choose to think they just wanted to torture me. Or, at least, that's what the lump on my head thought.

Mitch had recounted back to me in earlier hours what had happened, and I can't say I'm glad, nor disappointed. It could have been so much worse, but it wasn't. We were okay.

I felt my head slowly start to lose the fogginess as I woke, then slowly tilted my head towards the window, noticing the blocked light. Huh. Mitch. Was talking to Lia.

"What's she doing here?" I growled quietly, even though no one would hear me. As if on cue, she stepped closer to Mitch, and I felt another deep growl escape my throat. What surprised me was the fact Mitch didn't push her away though, and I felt my breathing start to constrict as she grabbed his wrists. "Let go." I muttered hurriedly, but she didn't. They exchanged a few more words, Mitch starting to look annoyed, before she got too close. One more step forward, then she kissed him.

I think it shocked me more than him, especially when I saw him pull her close, almost eager. I felt the tears sting my eyes, then he pushed her away and backed off. Finally. Quickly blinking, I wrenched my blanket tighter over me and turned my back, feeling too sick to watch the aftermath.

I felt myself being shaken awake after closing my eyes for what felt like seconds. I turned to see Mitch's concerned face, dredging up memories of what had happened before. It had hurt, and to make things worse, it had also pulled another matter up as well. One I'd never thought of. It'd slowly consumed me as I drifted off to sleep, this kiss they'd shared. This real kiss. Or was it? Maybe I'd been dreaming, but the memory didn't have the same fog most did. No, it had happened. "Jerome. Are you okay? You were yelling in your sleep." Mitch asked, concern on his face. Oh. Yeah. I'd been dreaming Mitch and Lia were kissing again, and I'd tried to tear them apart, started yelling at them, but all it did was bring them closer. "Yeah G, I'm fine. I don't remember why I was yelling, must have just been a bad dream." I lied feebly, and Mitch nodded, understanding. "I uh, talked to Lia. She's deleted the tweet."

"Oh. That's good. Did you have to do anything?" I asked innocently, heart pounding, and Mitch hesitated before shaking his head. "No, I just asked and she agreed."

"I highly doubt that." I muttered under my breath. Mitch didn't react, probably not having heard, and sat at my side. "Anyway, they want to just check you over. They're waiting outside, just wanted me to wake you." He notified, before getting the doctors.

See, here's the thing I thought of while they idly poked and prodded me, and shone lights at me. What I'd been thinking of before sleeping.

I'd gotten together with Mitch, and that's all I thought of. Not once did I think about how he may still care for Lia, until now. Seeing them kiss, I could understand why some people may be against Mitch and I. They looked so natural together, and there was still, after all this time, no denying that there was still a spark there. That spark was making me wonder if I was just a rebound thing, or a distraction. Mitch had said all the right words, but what if that was all they were? I was so scared now, that I would lose him. Maybe we had something, but so did he and Lia, and she was fighting to get him back.

I got so wrapped up in the thoughts I didn't notice Mitch shaking my arm. "Jerome. We're free to go." He gently chided, and I bit my lip. "Okay." Do I ask him or do I not?

Already, this was burning holes into me, setting worry. Mitch obviously didn't want to front up about it, and I didn't want to make things awkward with reckless accusations.

I took it on the chin the drive home, bearing silence as we made our quiet way home, even though it was eating at me. Mitch was driving my car, his now in the shop for repair. "Are we still streaming?" Mitch asked, and I shrugged. "If you think we should." Mitch hesitated a little. "I don't know..." Silence fell over the car again. Forget an elephant in the room, we'd managed to stuff the entire planet in here. We'd achieved an unspoken awkwardness, and every loud breath made it so much more obvious. "Look Jerome, I think we can get the stream up, but I don't want to do it on New Years."

"Why?"

"Well, you're recovering, and I don't want to strain you out. We can still do what we wanted, but later." Mitch reasoned, and I vaguely nodded. "Okay. Whatever?" He glanced at me, but didn't voice anything.

As we got home, I just made an instant break for my room. "I'm going to the bathroom. Shower time." I excused myself and ran up, before closing the door quickly, and grabbing clothes. Yeah, I'll shower.

But I couldn't see another way out of what I'd planned. In my head. I'd done it before. It didn't scare me. Deep enough to hurt and scar, but not deep enough to bleed. All I wanted was the simple release.

I grabbed everything, then went and locked the door, glancing at the object in my hand. Unused for quite some time, though I'd been close to it. Never this close. Sure, I'd felt pain from love, but I'd always argued I was being stupid. Now I knew I was just naïve. Love always had pain, one way or another.

My knuckles turned white as I grasped the blade handle tightly, then started the first incision. The beginnings of a new set of scars.