A Peaceful Criminal

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"I'll fucking strangle you, you lazy bastard!"

Naruto screamed and Shikamaru only slammed the door. He scoffed and folded his arms, nerves coursing through him.

"SHUT UP. I didn't mean too!"

"YOU DUMBASS! YOU COULD'VE KNOCKED."

"I-." Shikamaru was suddenly on his back with Naruto strangling him, Shikamaru was trying to move Naruto's hands but Naruto looked so angry.

"You stupid idiot! How dare you! I hate you. You should've choked on dinner, better yet you should've died in your sleep!" Naruto said and before Shikamaru could say anything about the incident, his father appeared in the living room to see his son being choked out by Naruto and honestly.

His son might've deserved it.

"Naruto I bought you new cuffs, and I'm here to take you both to the Hokage." Naruto dropped the younger Nara and scoffed.

"You better be lucky your father is here and I like him." Shikamaru held his neck and scoffed.

"Here I thought Choking is a kink of yours princess." Naruto eyes flashed red as a sudden wave of red chakra broke the regular cuffs and shocked both Shikamaru and Shikaku.

"Don't test me, I could've easily fled capture and captivity, however I don't want to be followed for the rest of my life so I obey and act like a sheep stuck in the foxes den when I'm indeed a fox in sheep's clothing. Naruto held his wrist to Shikaku, the new cuffs were like fluffy bracelets.

I'm already in a bad mood. I hate you Shikamaru." Naruto said walking next to Shikaku and Shikamaru snorted.

"I'm sorry for not knocking, but if it's any consultation you have a great body." Shikamaru said, Shikaku sighed and Naruto faced palmed.

"I cannot stand you, at all." Naruto said and Shikamaru walked next to him.

"Well sorry." Shikamaru shrugged and then the group was quiet when they stumbled upon the tower. When they walked in the room, seals were up and Kakashi stood with Tsunade. They both looked at the trio before speaking to Shikamaru.

"Where was he last night?" Shikamaru tilted his head.

"He was in the bed, sleeping." Tsunade folded her arms.

"You sure he didn't sneak out? Make a clone or anything?" Shikamaru recalled nothing of the sort. He was up until about three A.M. Naruto sleeps like a rock most of the time. He is sleeping more than anything.

I mean there's nothing else he could do with Shikamaru watching over him.

"No he didn't, I was up until 3am." Shikamaru reiterates and Kakashi blinked while Tsunade plastered a frustrated expression to her face. Naruto was humming, looking between the Nara's and their sixth Hokage.

"Well what where you going to pin on me this time?" Naruto asked, suddenly in a much better mood than before.

"Sasuke complained of somebody breaking into the Uchiha police station. Said there was a secret office that belonged to his dead father and of course Naruto is our first suspect since that is his brother." Naruto snorted.

"I may have biological brothers, but all of them are unaware of my existence." Naruto said and Shikamaru sighed.

"Look I know he is still a suspect of past crimes but there is no way he could've snuck anywhere last night. I'm would've felt him leave the bed." Naruto hummed because he was sure Shikamaru hadn't meant to say that last part.

Eyes widened and looked to Shikamaru who groaned when he realized he had to explain why they slept with one another at night.

"It's not as if we have a relationship or anything, Naruto falls asleep in my bed to spite me but I just move him over and sleep in my bed anyways." Shikamaru explained as if that would sound any better. It still sounded like Shikamaru was sleeping with the enemy.

"I still don't think they believe you. Though Shikaku-san can attest to it." Naruto said and Shikaku sighed.

"I can say with a 100% certainty, that they both aren't dating but my son is harboring some feelings for the felon." Naruto slammed his hand over his mouth, chuckling a little as Shikamaru shot his father a look. His father shrugged.

"Naruto was choking Shikamaru this morning when I walked in. So clearly something happened that shouldn't have when they both woke up." Kakashi hummed.

"Well if you didn't sneak out what was it that you both were fighting for?" Shikamaru stood there and looked anywhere but at Naruto while Naruto folded his arms and leaked chakra.

"He saw me naked, changing in a bathroom because he was too impatient to wait and or knock." Naruto said calmly and everybody else just nodded and turnt his attention away from him, awkwardly not knowing what to do the room fell silent.

"So since I obviously didn't do what y'all think I did, can I go back to Shikamaru's house and kill him like I was planning to do before you all interrupted?" Naruto asked and Shikamaru sighed.

"How could say that with a straight face and expect them to say yes?" Shikamaru asked and Naruto eyes shot to Shikamaru.

"Because I'm an honest fox, if I had done something I would've admitted it." Naruto said and Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

"I have not committed any crimes in the leaf village." Naruto said, and Kakashi squinted.

"How do we know you are telling the truth." Naruto stood there and smiled.

"You don't, at least you don't know yet. You all are clearly missing a piece of the puzzle. You all know I'm an Uzumaki and Uchiha. However what would I gain from killing an Uchiha, and two village leaders?" Naruto said and everybody had no answer.

"If I was really pissed about my childhood I would've killed your Fourth Hokage and Kushina, to begin with but they are still walking the earth correct?" Everybody nodded.

"Exactly, that is also why I'm still allowing you all to watch over me, now in all mean I am a criminal, I just haven't done anything in the leaf village, I could not care less if this village still stood or not and honestly I'm a little surprised that you all don't see who's really causing chaos behind the scenes right now." Naruto shrugged and looked to Shikaku-San.

"Can you take me home Shikaku? I would really like to sleep like a rock." Shikaku laughed.

"Stop committing crimes and you'll be able to sleep better." Naruto smiled a genuine smile, and Shikamaru's heart pounded a little faster.

"I'll stop committing crimes when the lands are peaceful." Naruto said and Shikaku led Naruto back to Shikamaru's house. Shikamaru sighed.

"Should we look over the files again?" Kakashi and Tsunade nodded, and Shikamaru sighed.

This was troublesome.

*

If Naruto didn't commit the crimes who did 🤔

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