Love To Hate Me | Jensoo

Chapter 7

It took a couple of seconds for Jennie to realize what had just happened. She quickly dropped her hand from where it rested on the side of Jisoo's neck and took a step back.

"I'm sorry," she took another step away from Jisoo. "This... that was a mistake," she looked away.

"Jennie don't..."

"I have to go." Jennie knew if she were to look at Jisoo she wouldn't be able to go, so she didn't. She left Jisoo's room quietly and quickly and never looked up or back at Jisoo.

It felt like someone had knocked the air out of her lungs. When she got back to her room she paced up and down, unable to breathe or think.

"What did I do?," she whispered into her hands. It never even crossed her mind something like that would happen. Or at least that's what she was going to spend the rest of the night trying to convince herself to.

Jennie could still taste Jisoo on her tongue and feel the soft press of Jisoo's lips on her own.

"Fuck." Jennie didn't plan on something like that happening, not today or ever, she couldn't allow herself to think she did. But maybe Jisoo did. Maybe all of it was an elaborate scheme to get something, to... "No," Jennie cut her thought before it ran out of her hands. Jisoo looked as freaked out as she did. Jennie looked at the wall standing between her and Jisoo's room. What was Jisoo doing now? Jennie just left her standing there without stopping for even a second to consider that Jisoo must be having the same thoughts and going through the same stuff Jennie was. Jisoo, loud and with her guard down, with her smile and eyes and hair. The next thought that popped into Jennie's mind was the most dangerous of them all. What if she wasn't sorry, what if the only mistake was to leave her there.

Jennie laid back on the bed and closed her eyes. "What do I do?" She took the phone out of her pocket.

What do you do when you don't know if something is good or bad?

She sent the message and hoped it would bring her the clearness she was wishing for.

Are you drunk?

Reply came back almost immediately.

I wish.

A couple of seconds later her phone rang.

"What's wrong?," Irene asked.

"Just need help with thinking something through."

"Thinking what throught?"

"What to do when you don't know if something that happened is good or bad?"

"Depends on what that something is."

"Hypothetical something."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing," Jennie lied. "I don't wanna talk about it," another lie. "I'm..."

"Okay, breathe Jennie. What happened?"

"I'm not sure I wanna talk about it," Jennie sighed.

"Okay." Irene was a lot of things at a lot of different times but she was always a friend. "You do what you think is the best."

"And what if you don't know."

"You don't have to know," Irene said. "Do you feel that thing that happened is good or bad?"

"I feel if I mix feelings with this I won't make it through the night," Jennie heard Irene laugh on the other side, "I don't see how that is funny."

"I'm laughing because for a moment there you had me worried but now I know you will be fine," Irene said. "If you don't want to mix feelings then what is your brain saying to you."