illuminate. (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Chapter One

WARNINGS: Character death and violence

"Do you picture me, what do you see?

Maybe a future full of unwritten things

We hope to write from what's been done

Look for a future no one else has sung."

~*~*~*~

HYDRA Siberian Facility. Russia. June 2016.

You stared down the hallway. Had it always been this short? Last time you were here it seemed to go on forever. Cold seeped from the metal walls. You had slowed your pace, coming to a full stop in the middle of the hallway. Last night's nightmare replayed in your mind; flashes of the lifeless bodies of your team flicked through it at a rapid pace. Your breath quickened. The metallic tang of pennies flooded your mouth as your stomach rolled. Your knuckles went white as they gripped your gun. Squeezing your eyes shut, you tried to pull yourself together.

"It was just a dream. Nothing more. Tony isn't here. The Soldiers are dead. Scott's safe. Wanda's safe. Sam's safe. Clint's safe. Steve's safe. Bucky's safe. I'm safe."

You repeated this over and over in your head like a desperate prayer. You had the same dream several times over the last few months; oftentimes Bucky had to shake you awake. The dream was your worst fear realized. Everyone you loved and who loved you dead and gone, leaving you alone. You'd spend the next several minutes sobbing in Bucky's arms before falling back asleep as he soothed you. You hoped by coming on this mission, you would be able to rid yourself of the horrific vision once and for all.

"Y/N," a familiar voice dragged you from your thoughts. "What's your status?" A tinge of concern lingered in Steve Rogers' voice. You had been silent for too long and missed your check-in.

You shook your head to clear your thoughts and took a deep breath before answering, "Outside the main chamber." You adjusted the grip on your Sig Sauer before moving into the large space. Using her powers, Wanda had insisted that the facility was deserted and the Quinjet's scans confirmed her findings. But, you remained on edge, wanting nothing more than to destroy the place where Bucky had been held captive and tortured for the better half of a century.

While Steve, Wanda, and Pietro placed demolition charges at key structural points around the bunker, you had been tasked with locating HYDRA's Winter Soldier manual. With Zemo locked away in Germany and most of Bucky's former handlers dead, there was a slim chance that anyone else knew the trigger words. However, you didn't want to give anyone that kind of power of Bucky ever again. And some part of you thought maybe by having Bucky destroy a piece of his HYDRA past, it would be another step in the healing process, exorcising one more ghost, another step towards freedom.

You observed the room. The cryo-freeze pods had been destroyed. Their yellow lights had gone out; they no longer spewed vapor. The stench of the thawed dead bodies of the five other Winter Soldiers filled your nose. You took deep breaths to allow your nose to get used to the smell. The wretched Memory Suppression Machine lay in scattered pieces about the room. You stepped on part of a computer keyboard and felt the satisfying crunch of plastic underneath your foot. A mountain of twisting debris blocked the door to the control room where Zemo had barricaded himself during his confrontation with Steve, Tony, and Bucky. You radioed back to your teammates, "Wanda, I'm going to need assistance in the main chamber, please."