illuminate. (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Chapter Three

WARNINGS: Descriptions of Violence, and Past Trauma

"I've been the archer, I've been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling

But who could stay...

Who could stay?

You could stay."

~*~*~*~

The Citadel. Wakanda. September 2016.

The four of you gathered in the common area of the massive palace apartment provided by Dowager Queen Ramonda. The apartment contained two suites each with its own sitting area, bedroom, and large bathroom. Each suite connected to a large common space which served as a living room and dining room. The apartment was modern, but there were touches of Wakandan tradition and culture interspersed throughout the rooms. A vase or basket here. A ceremonial mask or weapon there. Brightly colored tapestries hung from the walls. T'Challa had the palace staff serve dinner in your apartment to allow for a private discussion of the information you had been presented with earlier. The food sat on the dining room table undisturbed as you and your friends were lost in thought.

Bucky sat on the edge of a chair hunched over with his elbow resting on his knee. His forefinger and thumb circled one another. Natasha perched lightly on the plush couch next to Steve who flipped through a file detailing Shuri's ideas regarding the task at hand. Despite the advances in technology, Steve preferred paper briefings instead of those on a tablet or phone. Instead of reading along with Steve, Natasha's gaze followed your movements. The tempest that raged in your mind made it impossible to sit still; you paced in front of the wall of windows leading to a massive balcony. The sun made its descent in the western sky, filling the room with a warm golden light. Had you not been drowning in your intrusive thoughts, you would have been mesmerized at the beautiful sight.

Although you promised to support Bucky no matter what he decided, the possibility of him returning to cryo-freeze had been the furthest thing from your mind. It changed everything. You did not want Bucky to go back into cryo. Cryo had brought him nothing but pain and misery. The thought of being without him for an unspecified amount of time killed you inside. You had been together for so long; you relied heavily on one another. You weren't sure what you would do without him for an extended length of time. Was it selfish of you to want him to stay with you until the last possible moment? So many things could go wrong. Was it so awful to want more time with him if anything did?

You glanced over at Bucky for the umpteenth time in the past few minutes. Bucky remained silent since the ride to The Citadel, only speaking to thank the palace staff in short but sincere sentences. His gaze remained unfocused as he pondered the information presented to him by Shuri. You ran your hand through your hair frustrated by the silence and sighed.

"Okay, we said we were going to talk it over," Natasha sighed, breaking the silence obviously tired of watching you pace back and forth. "But, no one has said a word since we got here." She looked at each of you in turn. "What's everyone thinking?"

You looked over to Bucky once more. He didn't acknowledge Natasha's question and continued to stare into the void. Natasha nudged Steve, prompting him to say something, anything, to start the difficult conversation that needed to take place. Steve closed the file and placed it on the glass coffee table in front of the sofa. He leaned forward, mimicking Bucky's posture. "I think this is the best chance we have at getting rid of the programming," he said to no one in particular. "There is a level of technology and knowledge here that isn't available anywhere else in the world. Not with Tony, Bruce, Dr. Cho, or even Hank Pym." He turned to look at Bucky who remained unmoved.