𝘍𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘎𝘪𝘳𝘭 〆 Kurapika x Reader ✓

Science experiment

✯¸.•'*¨'*•✿ Seventeen ✿•*'¨*'•.¸✯

''Mai is right. I need to talk to Rin soon. I need to get my shit together,'' you said to yourself, kicking away a pebble that wasn't covered in the thick, white snow. You took your shaking phone out of your pocket, messages flooding in from the one person you weren't excited to see. For the first time in years. It was Kurapika.

It's not like you didn't want to talk to him, but you were upset at him and yourself. You read the messages as your eyes flickered over the screen. They were sweet. He was saying things like

'I'll be here for you' what a joke.

'I love you' are you sure?

'You're not alone' yep. I am.

You shook your head as you covered your eyes with your cold hands. You didn't want to get annoyed at him, but he was once again confusing you. It felt like he was playing with your feelings. You decided to ignore him because if you'd text him right now it would probably come off as rude. You were a horrible texter when you were angry, you'd say things you didn't mean in the heat of the fight.

You inhaled deeply as you looked up at the sky, not sure where to go from here. You couldn't visit your parents or Rin for comfort, since they're one of the reasons for your sadness. You couldn't go to Kurapika, since he was busy comforting someone else. Mai wasn't an option anymore and Azami was in the hospital.

''Can't I just visit him? If I tell them it's important, they must let me in, right?'' you said to yourself out loud. You decided to let your overthinking go for a moment and stuck out your hand, waiting for a taxi.

°•. ✿ .•°

''What's his name?'' the girl behind the desk asked you.

''Azami''

''Azami who?''

''Azami Izanagi'' you answered.

She frowned as she looked at her screen and typed a few things. She took a deep breath and looked at me with a disappointing look, ''he's on intensive care, strangers aren't allowed there''

''I'm not a stranger. My name is Y/N L/N, I'm his best friend. I haven't heard from him in days, please let me see him. I'm not leaving until you'll let me see him.'' you desperately said. You didn't care about what she would think of you. You needed to see him, end of discussion.

''I could ask the doctor, but I can't promise you anything, sweetheart'' she warmheartedly smiled at you and her eyes softened when she saw you so desperate. She took the phone on the desk and put it against her ear after dialling the doctor's office, probably.

''There's a girl here who desperately needs to see Azami Izanagi. She says she's his best friend and needs to see him'' she looked at you and covered her mouth, ''she says she won't leave until she's allowed, so this could cause some trouble'' she whispered into the phone, hoping you couldn't hear her.

She talked a bit more, but you didn't pay too much attention to what she was saying, you just wanted to know if you were allowed to see your friend or not. She nodded at you and told you on which floor he was and his room number.

''Don't let his state fright you too much, dear. They're trying their best to help him, okay?'' she said and you nodded, feeling a bit taken aback by her words. You hurriedly walked to the elevator, pressing the number '5' about a thousand times. Once you got to the designated floor, you almost ran to his room. You knocked on the door, but couldn't hear a thing, so you decided to just open it.

In bed laid Azami, who looked rough. He looked skinnier than before and had black circles under his eyes. He had weird strings attached everywhere and it seemed like he was on life support. Fuck. Your legs trembled as you walked up to him and fell on your knees next to his bed. His eyes were closed, so he was probably asleep.

''What the hell is going on?'' you cried to yourself. You cried, finally. Letting all of your sadness wash over you. You were carrying so much weight on your shoulders from the shit going on in your life, and it was too much for you. You just wanted to be happy. You wanted to be with Kurapika, have a stable relationship with your family and feel okay. You loved Kurapika so much, but you kept wondering if all of this was even worth it anymore.

You sobbed into the sheets of Azami's bed until you felt a hand on your head. You looked up and felt a tear run down your cheek. Azami had woken up, probably because of your loud sobs. He stared down at you with a weak smile on his face.

''Why are you crying?'' he breathed out, ''you know I hate it when you cry''

''Azami'' you cried out and wrapped your arms around him, ''I'm going through it. I'm losing my mind''

''Oi, oi'' he chuckled softly, ''how do you think I feel? I'm not allowed to game all day anymore. This feels like rehab. They're only making me feel worse!''

You giggled in between your sobs and rested your head on his stomach as you looked up at him, ''Azami?''

''Hmm?''

''Is going after Kurapika worth it?''

Azami kept quiet for a second and closed his eyes, ''don't ask me if it's worth it. Loving someone is always worth it, but if you only get hurt in the end or if you don't receive any satisfaction from it, it isn't. I know you love him. But you need to ask yourself if all the pain you're going through is worth it. if everything turns out well, will you be happy with yourself?''

You thought for a second. Would you be happy with yourself? If you do end up marrying Kurapika, will you live a happy life? Would everything be easier if you didn't love him?

''Talk to him if you get the chance,'' Azami breathed out and opened his eyes again, ''don't let him go if you love him. You can see how fast a human can pass away''

''You're not dead''

''I know'' was all he said. You sniffled and pouted when you saw Azami try his best to keep his eyes open. He looked horrible and it was breaking your heart. You took in a deep breath and looked at the weird things attached to him and the strange machines next to his bed.

He groaned, ''I feel like a fucking science experiment,''

✯¸.•'*¨'*•✿✿•*'¨*'•.¸✯

UPDATE: DRAWINGS OF HIM ARE ON CHAPTER 'I'm sorry, Rin'