What a Tragedy

Chapter 18: Deprecation and Self Hate

Short chapter this week. Sorry. I'm trying to get ahead of my schedule, because then I won't be working myself into the ground. I hope you guys understand, but I still have school and a million assignments each day. I can't wait until I don't have to deal with school anymore. It's so close. Yet so far.
Anyway, I hope you're Christmas' are going well. And Happy Hanukkah if you're jewish. And if you don't celebrate either... happy December? Ima go eat something. I hope you enjoy my nonsense. -Ace

Enjoy~
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Izuku led the group of tired teens through the remainder of the forest. His knife was dirty and needed to be sharpened, but overall was still in good condition considering he'd been stabbing the eyes of giant dirt monsters.

His favorite hoodie got clawed across the arm. The claws of one of the dirt monsters seeking revenge for its lost eye. He probably needed stitches now, but nothing he couldn't do himself with the medical kit he stowed away in his backpack. His classmates expressed worry, but he waved them off.

He'd been on the front lines, of course he got hurt. Some of the others had gotten similar injuries, but they didn't have the minor protection of longer sleeves.

Plus, new scar to his ever increasing collection.

The area of the wound was bloody, but had clotted up and stopped bleeding quickly. As long as he didn't move it too much, he was fine. Though, Izuku was pretty upset that his hoodie was all dirty and bloody now. He'd have to stitch it up later.

They stumbled out of the forest, Izuku coming out first looking more tired than usual, and everyone else behind him nearly collapsing onto the ground.

The Pussy Cats and Aizawa stood by the doors of the lodge, the strange boy from earlier standing nearby.

"You said that would only take three hours," He heard Sero complain.

"I guess we timed it on how long it'd take us. Sorry," Mandalay said.

More complaints followed and Izuku sat down on the ground. His legs ached and his eyes were watery from all the dust. His rumbling stomach could wait, it wasn't like he hadn't felt hunger before.

"Mew mew mew mew mew mew mew, I thought it would take you kits even longer! But you did much better against my dirt monsters than I thought you would. You guys were seriously great," Pixie Bob said. Izuku sighed as he tried cleaning the dirt off his knife with his sleeve, blinking rapidly to clear the dust. "Especially... the four of you!"

Izuku looked up to find the hero pointing at him and the three boys around him, Iida, Todoroki, and Bakugo. His brow furrowed in confusion and he quirked a brow.

"It seems like you've had quite a bit of experience," She went on. Izuku tensed when he saw her lick her lips.

"I call dibs on these kittens! I'll groom them myself!" Pixie Bob flew forward and Izuku held his knife up instinctively. The pro flitted around the, avoiding the sharp object. He saw her wink at him and then he, abruptly, became aware it was just a tease.

Izuku relaxed and lowered the knife. His gaze was caught by the boy standing by Mandalay and he pointed in his direction, then signed to her. "Who is that? What's a kid doing here?"

She paused to read his hands before turning around and spotting the boy. "Oh, him?"

"Ah, this little guy? This is my cousin's son who lives with us now. Don't be shy Kota, say hi. You're going to be around them for the next week," Mandalay answered.

Izuku tilted his head and stood up, placing the knife back in his pocket before making his way over. He stopped about three feet away before crouching down and holding his hand out to shake.

"Izuku," He said. The kid already knew he was UA, no point in introducing himself with that.

He sensed the attack before it came. The boy's fist curling as his arm tensed, the small narrow of his eyes as he was about to reel back. The kid was fast, but Izuku spent his whole life observing people for incoming attacks or hidden hostility.

Just as the kid was about to hit his dick, Izuku grabbed his wrist tightly and held his free hand up as defense. It was more instinctual than actual processed thought.

Kota's eyes widened a fraction as Izuku's face was practiced blankly. Don't show them what you're thinking.

Izuku blinked and looked down at his hand, still holding Kota still before he let go in a startle. He sucked in a breath as the boy took his wrist back and cradled it, looking up at Izuku still in shock. As if baffled by Izuku's reaction. Honestly he was just as surprised.

Izuku silently stammered before speaking. "Y-You shouldn't try to hit people. You don't know what kind of reaction it will provoke," He said.

The boy nodded before scurrying away. Mandalay looked slightly panicked. Izuku shouldn't have tried to introduce himself, it always ended badly when he tried to instigate conversation. But Yamada had told him that it was good to introduce himself to new people. That it was polite. He just wanted to try it.

Biting his lip, he walked back to his classmates.

"Are you okay, Midoriya-kun," Iida asked with concern. "You look pale."

"I'm fine," He said softly.

Iida looked at him with uncertainty and apprehension that he could feel radiating off of him in waves.

Having people worry about him was a new feeling that he was still trying to get used to.

It was an hour later that they were given dinner, which, in his classmates' opinion, was better than what gods ate. The food sat warmly in his stomach, causing drowsiness to come over his arms and legs, and making his head foggy with fatigue. He didn't care about whatever happened that his obnoxious peers thought was worth all the world, he just wanted to nap.

Just as he was going to get up and head upstairs for the night, he was immediately metaphorically smacked awake by what Mandalay said.

"Alright, don't worry about the dishes tonight. All of you go wash up in the baths outside!"

Communal baths.

Damnit.

Izuku was now wide awake. Goodbye easy rest.

Not wasting another moment, Izuku sped off to the showers. He stripped off his cloths and washed off his sore muscles. The dirt and grime fell away, along with the blood on his arm. It had stopped bleeding and sat as a scorching red cut on his arm. It'd need stitches, but it wasn't infected, therefore it was an issue that could wait until later. He left the showers just as the other early students made it in to wash off, and was successfully the first one to the outdoor baths. The idea of others seeing him naked made him nauseous.

His mind coursed back to the events earlier. He didn't understand why Aizawa wanted him to come on this trip, he understood that his guardian was planning on him practicing his martial arts and analyzing his classmates, but he could've done martial arts training just as well back at UA, and Ragdoll could analyze his peers with her Quirk with Mandalay helping to relay the information to them. So he was useless here. Like always. Analysis was his only useful trait and there was someone else here that could do it better than him because it was literally her job.

Maybe Aizawa just wanted to keep him close? Keep him out of trouble? Was he really that much of a burden? He did impede on him and Yamada's lives by intruding. He wasn't even supposed to be there.

Izuku sunk deeper in the water and hugged his arms self consciously. His jagged scars felt strange against his equally scared hands.

What if he was just delaying the inevitable? The truth that one day Aizawa might get bored of him and kick him out of his life for being too much trouble. What if Aizawa was already planning it and was just waiting for the right moment?

Immersed in his thoughts, Izuku barely noticed when Iida came out to the baths.

"Midoriya-kun?"