I never wanted this.

Chapter 9; Why did I even try?

BE JOHN EGBERT - - - - - - - >

     We had gotten back into our apartment and Dave and Dirk went to Dirk's room and I sat on the couch. I sighed and closed my eyes, burying my face in my hands.

     "I want to say thank you for helping us out Jake." I said. But i got nothing in return, not even a hostile response. I looked around and didn't see him. I started to panick.

     "Jake? Come on, this isn't funny." I said, getting up and searching the house. He wasn't in the kitchen, the living room, my room, any of the bathrooms, any of the basement rooms and he definitely wasn't in Dirk's room.

      "J-jake? Please be here." I whispered. I checked the entranceway, and he wasn't there. But...The door was wide open. My eyes widened and filled with tears. I ran out and saw him round the corner into an alley. I ran after him and was definitely not expecting what I found.

I ran in and froze, immediately taking a step back. There was a car and two guys in here along with Jake. The two guys, were Karkat Vantas and Sollux Captor.  With Sollux aiming a gun at my head, and Karkat aiming a gun at the direct center of my heart. And Jake stood there with his pistols out just in case.

I just stood frozen like a moron, tears streaming down my face, my eyes glowing slightly as I looked at Jake, most likely having either a scared or heartbroken expression on my face.

"Ju2t Get iin the car, and we won't have two 2hoot you." Sollux said, karkat nodding in agreement. I considered running, but decided against it. I, with my hands up in surrender, walked into the back of the car. They handcuffed me to the wall and locked the door.

As they pulled away, I looked at Jake. I made a heart with my hands and mouthed the words 'I love you' towards him. He just glared at me. I sighed and looked away, finally allowing myself to break down in tears, sobbing as i realized that...Jake really did hate me. But I love him so much. I heard one of them sigh.

"KK, pull over." Sollux said. I heard Karkat groan and he just kept driving straight.

"NO SOLLUX. JUST, NO. NOT AGAIN. I KNOW YOU HAVE A SOFT SPOT BE CAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED WITH ARADIA, BUT HE IS A TRICKSTER DEMON. YOU ARE NOT GOING BACK THERE." Karkat said. That made me think of how Jake hates me because of that and I sobbed harder, curling up into a ball.

"KK. Were you not payiing attentiion back there? He diidn't run, diidn't fiight. He got iin the back of the car wiithout a fu22. iif We can tru2t any Demon be2iide2 AA, iit'2 Hiim. Pull over." Sollux said. Karkat groaned again but pulled over.

The back of the car opened and I thought about trying to escape, since I could get out of the handcuffs whenever I wanted, but just kept crying.

What's the point of escape anyways? Dirk has Dave now, and Jake hates me. In fact, what is there left to live for? The only ones who will really miss me are Jade and Kanaya, and maybe Rose. Sure Dirk will be sad, but he will get over it. And Rose and Kanaya have each other. And Jade...

My eyes widened as I realized that If I died, Jade would be completely devastated. So I have to live, but only for her. But I don't need to be free to live...So I will just go along with it. After all, can't do any damage in a cell...

I felt the car start moving again, and someone sat next to me, presumably Sollux. As proved by his words.

"Hey there. Ii'm 2ure you know that my name ii2 2ollux. What'2 your2?" He asked, rubbing circles on my back to try and comfort me. I sat up and sniffed, trying to stop crying and answer.

"J-john. John E-egbert." I said, stuttering as I kept crying a little. He smiled softly but also in a smirk, which reminded me of when Jake smiled, and I broke into sobs again. He panicked and did what I guess came as natural to him, and hugged me.