Would You Run? Crankiplier high school AU

Chapter 26

TW & PSA
TW: Ethan has an anxiety attack in this. As always there will be a summary at the end of the chapter for those of you who don't think it's good for their mental health to read this chapter. Take care of yourself babes!

SECOND TW: vomit

THIRD TW: (this ones a doozy ik) Ethan hating himself

PSA:I love you guys but if I see any comments that are making fun of him for having a panic attack over Amy's text I'm deleting them. People can not control what makes them anxious/where and when they have an anxiety attack.
Okay I love you enjoy ^-^

I feel like I'm gonna puke. I felt my blood run cold and I excused myself to the bathroom.

I couldn't stop re-reading the message. "Please let him come home."

She isn't his home... I'm supposed to be his home.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I absolutely was not his home. I'm not his boyfriend. I'm his fuck toy, but I don't think I can even call myself that because of the way I'd beg him to touch me if he didn't. I'm nothing like her. I'm nothing at all. Not when it comes to him.

He never talks about Amy unless he's high. I always kind of thought about it as him opening up to me and trusting me and wanting to share his past with me. It never really occurred to me that he talks about her when he's high because he misses her. I never even found it strange that she was on his mind.

My reflection in the mirror looked strange. I didn't look like me. I mean I did.. I guess; just not how I remember me looking.

My skin wasn't as clear as I remember and my eyes weren't as bright. My lips were more chapped than I'd thought and my fingers were cold against them. Who the fuck am I?

I reached into my back pocket to get my phone without breaking eye contact with myself. I need to call Riley.

As my fingers fumbled to find her contact and I was about to press "call," I came to a realization. Riley can't help with this, and even if she could, I couldn't accept it. I'm a home wrecker.

I stared at the unrecognizable version of myself in the mirror for a few more minutes. I think I'm genuinely gonna be sick.

Without thinking I dropped to my knees and hunched over the toilet. I can't breathe. Okay I need to text Riley, I can't do this alone right now.

Me: I can't breathe

Me: And ik im just being dramatic

Me: no one else would have a panic attack over this but I need you

It took her about 30 seconds to answer, in the meantime I just tried my best to take deep breaths. I don't want to loose him. I just got him.

Riley: What happened? Should I come over?

Me: Im not home rn

Riley: where are you?!

Me: marks

Riley: WHAT THE FUCK DID HE DO??!!!

I hadn't realized what it looked like until she said that which made another wave of panic wash over me.

Me: nonono he didn't do anything look

I took a screenshot of Amy's message and tried to text it to her but it wouldn't send which just increased my anxiety.

Me: *image attatchments*

Me: I can't breathe.

As she read Amy's text message to me, I felt my stomach retch and acid build up in the back of my throat.