a rose by any other name

chapter nineteen ❃ goodbyes

I ate dinner quickly, not realising how hungry I actually was. I was sat at the Slytherin table listening to Draco and Pansy talk about how much they were going to miss each other when I saw Cedric stand up and walk towards the doors, before he left, he turned around and caught my eye. It was time. I drank the rest of my water and took a deep breath before leaving the great hall behind him. Draco gave me a warning look as I passed him, and I just nodded. This was it. This was goodbye.

I climbed the last step to the tower and saw him, Cedric was stood leaning against the railing and looking out at the view, it was quite a nice night, although there was a breeze it was quite warm for February. Cedric turned around to face me and his expression broke my heart, I could tell just by looking at him exactly how he felt. He had a look of pain, guilt, regret, loss and worst of all heartbreak, all mixed into one. He quickly walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me, lifting me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist. He held me so close to his body it was hard to tell where mine ended and his began, his smell surrounded me, he smelled like a candle just after it's been blown out, cinnamon and honey and it was completely intoxicating. I felt like I was melting into him and all I could feel was the heat radiating off his body. Remember this Parisa, remember this for when he can't even look at you anymore. "What time are you leaving?" Cedric asked me as he put me down. "I have to meet Draco at half eight-tomorrow morning." I said looking up at him, I hadn't spoken with him about Draco before but I'm sure he knew we were close. "You're going with Draco? Is he involved in whatever you're doing? Is he the reason you're leaving?" Cedric asked me looking confused but also slightly angry. "No Ced, it's not his fault, it's all on me, me and him are in uh, very similar situations, he understands what's... happening." I said, it was far from Draco's fault, me and my stupid parents were the reason this was happening to him. "It's my parent's fault really, but hey can we not talk about this, it's all my life will be about after tonight, I need tonight to just be about us Cedric."

He paused momentarily before smiling at me, "Of course Angel." I smiled back at him and he grabbed my hand leading me to the railing overlooking The Black Lake. We stood there in silence for a moment before I spoke, "I was so scared you know, during the second challenge." I told Cedric and he chuckled, "Even then, when you were still fighting your inner monologue?" I laughed, "Yeah, even then, I was sure you wouldn't come back up, all I could think about was our kiss." Cedric sat down with his back to the railings and I sat in-between his legs. "That bloody kiss Parisa, I was sure you hated me for not stopping it, but it was all I could think about too, almost drove me insane as if I didn't like you enough already." I looked up at him, "I knew I liked you, I just refused to truly admit it. My parents can be so... controlling sometimes. I grew up with them, with Draco and the others, I just assumed that, what they believed was what was right. I had questioned it before when I was really younger but only for a day before my parents put me back on the 'right' path. Cedric it was you, that helped me realise I wasn't being fair." I sighed. "But it doesn't matter what I believe, only what my parents do, they'd probably disown me if they knew who I had been kissing for the last few months, if they knew who I loved." Cedric kissed the top of my head. "Angel, why don't you just tell them, I know you think they'd disown you, but you never know, they might have changed their minds." I wish, I really did wish this was the case. But considering the letter my father sent me this month, I knew that is not how it was. "No Ced, that's not how my parents work, they're to uh, set in their ways, there's nothing I can do." Cedric nodded and led his head on the top of mine, "I'm so sorry Angel, I wish I could do something, Merlin I'd even change my name if I could." I laughed lightly but I didn't say anything. We laid like that for a while, not speaking, just holding each other, savouring the moment. I didn't want to leave, but my parents' hold on me was too strong. I was going to become a death eater whether I wanted to or not. I couldn't tell them about Cedric because I knew the consequences would be severe. I was constantly trying to think of ways that me and Cedric could be together, but we couldn't, it was as simple as that. We both knew this whole time that our time was limited, we'd both accepted that, so now, that it had come time to say goodbye, why was it still so hard? I felt tears start to form in my eyes, "I'm going to miss you so much Cedric." I said trying to keep my voice from wavering, He kissed the top of my head, "So am I Angel, when will you come back?" I sighed, I was going to come back, I was going to have to see him every day, I was going to have to move on, without him. "Next year I think, when the new school year starts." Cedric wrapped his arms around me tighter, "I know you said we can't be together even when you get back, but I'm going to be counting down the days until I can see you again, even if it is from afar, Merlin I'm going to miss you so much." I nodded; I didn't want to say anything. Cedric pulled me in even tighter if that was possible, he kissed my forehead and we sat like that for what must have been hours, talking about random thinks every now and again, we laughed, and we cried. But when the sun started to rise It felt like we had only been together for 5 minuets. I felt sick, it was my birthday, it was the end of everything I knew. I somehow laughed, "It's my birthday today Cedric." I heard Cedric intake a breath, "What? You didn't tell me, oh angel I'm so sorry I didn't get you anything, I-I didn't know." I felt guilty for not telling him, but my birthday really wasn't something I wanted to celebrate. "It's okay Cedric, just being with you is enough. I didn't want to celebrate it anyway." He sighed, "I still would have liked to know, how long do we have left?" I looked at my watch, it was twenty past eight. I gulped, where had all the time gone? "I have to meet Draco in ten minutes."

Cedric sighed and moved me off him so he could stand up, I stood up too and stretched. Me and Cedric looked at each other, just taking each other in. He pulled me in for a hug, "Can I at least walk you to meet Draco? Would he mind? Does he know about us?" Draco did know, and I knew he would be bothered but I also knew he would understand. "Yes, I don't care what he thinks." It was true, at this moment in time I think I'd show everybody how close me and Cedric were; it was almost over so why did it matter? Cedric let me go and grabbed my hand, we walked down the stairs and towards the great hall, there of course stood Draco. He scowled when he saw us, but I just ignored him. "Parisa, we need to go." Draco said and I turned my back to him. This was it; I saw tears in Cedric's eyes and felt tears start to stream down my face. He wiped them away and smiled, tears now falling down his cheeks, "Don't cry, it's okay, we knew this was going to happen. Everything will be okay, I promise." Cedric said as he kissed the top of my head. If only he knew how bad things were, they were the opposite of okay. I smiled back but didn't say anything, Cedric lightly grabbed my face and pulled me in, kissing me. I kissed back of course, it was our last kiss, I never wanted to stop, I just wanted to stay like this forever. This kiss was so gentle but so passionate it completely consumed me. I had forgotten about Draco until I heard him clear his throat from behind me. We both pulled away and were both still crying. "Goodbye Parisa, I love you." Cedric said looking into my eyes. "I love you too Cedric." I started to walk away towards Draco, who was looking at me sympathetically this time, I turned around one last time to look at Cedric, "Goodbye." I said smiling at him through my tears. He didn't say anything he just smiled and walked away in the opposite direction. Once me at Draco were outside of the castle, I let the sob I had been holding in out. Draco wrapped his arm around me and disapparated us to the train station where the Hogwarts Express was waiting. We boarded and found our bags were already in our usual compartment. We sat down, and Draco just held me while I cried into his chest, neither of us saying anything, there was nothing to say. This was it, me and Cedric were over. Love, Life, Meaning. It was all over. At nine o'clock the train started, and I looked up and out of the window as the castle, my home, got smaller and smaller. I quickly fell asleep against Draco's chest, exhausted.

authors note: hello! so sorry I didn't get a chance to upload yesterday, I didn't have time to finish this chapter but I plan to write a lot today. I also added names the all the chapters which you may have noticed. I am trying to make the chapters longer, so I hope you like it that way. Thank you all so much for reading! And thank you to the people who have voted!