Fallen Hearts: Fallen Book 2 (a Boys of Porn novella)

CH 6

Brian sat at a window table in the small diner, engrossed in his phone. He didn't notice Patrick approach until he dropped his cell on the table, startling Brian. "There."

Looking up, Brian blinked. "Huh?"

Patrick sat down and poked his phone. "It's done. I changed my number. Happy? Will you get off my back now?"

Brian frowned uncertainly. "What?" He shook his head. "Are you upset with me?"

Taking a deep breath, Patrick forced himself to calm. He sighed. "No," he mumbled. "I'm just... stressed. Sorry."

Brian looked at him doubtfully. "Okay. Um, stressed about what?"

"Everything. The property, mostly. The money."

Doubt clung to Brian's face. "God will make a way. We have the fundraiser coming up. There's a lot of people out there who support the LGBTQ community."

"The fundraiser alone isn't going to do it."

"I realize that. But it's a start. We'll get the money."

"Yeah." Patrick looked out the window. "I know."

Brian glanced at Patrick's cell lying on the table. "I'm sorry I pushed you so hard about changing the number. But you have to know it was the right thing to do, right?"

"Yeah. Sure," Patrick mumbled. "Of course." The heaviness in his chest belied his words but he kept it to himself. His throat hurt as emotions churned inside of him, causing his eyes to burn. Since changing his number, he'd felt sick to his stomach—like he'd lost something important that he couldn't get back.

"It would've been a mistake, Patrick," Brian murmured, a catch in his voice. "Those kinds of relationships... they're destructive."

Patrick shrugged. "Did I mention him?"

"You didn't have to."

"I'm fine. I didn't want him. I'm glad he's gone for good. It's not like he was someone special—we didn't even know each other."

Keep talking—maybe you'll convince yourself.

"Yeah," Brian whispered.

Patrick sighed and picked up his phone. "I think I'm gonna head home. I don't feel that great. I didn't get much sleep last night." He stood up.

"Can I, uh, get your new number?"

"Oh. Right." Patrick shook his head and recited the number to Brian. "I'll talk to you later."

Brian nodded as he watched him with concern.

Patrick left the diner. Rather than go home, he drove by the restaurant where he'd met with Derek on Saturday night. He pulled into the parking lot and chose a space facing the large front windows. A young couple sat at their table drinking coffee, talking, laughing... holding hands across the table; carefree and uninhibited by society's "rules," by God's rules. Free and clear to be who they are—to love whomever they choose.

A flurry of foreign emotions—resentment, anger, envy—surged into Patrick's heart, startling him—frightening him.

Plenty of times he'd witnessed hetero couples engaged in public displays of affection—and never once experienced such a negative reaction. He had accepted that this is the way it was meant to be. Physical expressions of love were reserved for straight couples. It didn't mean God loved gay people any less—He simply had a different plan for them, an alternate path they were meant to travel. And it was an honor to make such sacrifices for God.