Fallen Hearts: Fallen Book 2 (a Boys of Porn novella)

CH 11

Conversation wasn't much of a thing at the dinner table, but this evening, the silence felt especially heavy in the air. Patrick glanced at his parents as he ate his meal of pot roast and steamed vegetables. His father didn't look at him and what few words he spoke were directed at Patrick's mom.

The atmosphere felt tense—tenser than usual. Patrick hadn't experienced this level of tension at the dinner table since he first came out. Things had settled down after that, and though he was never entirely comfortable around his parents, he wasn't on edge either.

Tonight, he was on edge.

The three occupants at the table flinched when the phone rang. Patrick was closest and laid down his fork. "I'll get it," he mumbled and started to rise—when his father abruptly stood.

"I'll get it."

Patrick sank back down as his dad crossed the kitchen and snatched the cordless receiver from its cradle.

"Hello," he practically snapped with a gruffness to his voice. He listened for a moment, then asked, "Who's calling?" His face tightened and mouth twitched. "You have the wrong number." He hung up and returned to the table.

"Who was that?" Eileen Weber asked.

"Wrong number," her husband muttered.

"Strange," Patrick murmured. "That's the second wrong number today."

His father shot an icy look his way.

Okay... what was that for?

Patrick didn't ask. He finished his meal and took his plate to the sink, washed and dried the dish, then went to his room.

Not too long after Brian had left, he'd called and asked Patrick to come to his apartment to discuss the fundraiser. Patrick hadn't made it home until just before dinner. It was barely seven and he was already thinking about crashing out. But the second he was alone, his mind turned to Derek as it always seemed to do since last Friday.

Patrick sat in the desk chair and stared at the closed laptop, a little afraid to open it. Or maybe a lot afraid. The need to see Derek's face again was nearly more than he could bear. And the Gideon's Angels website was just a click away.

Don't even think about going back there.

He would see more than just Derek's "face" on that site.

Warmth flowed through his loins as he was consumed by the need to look. The video clip continued to play graphically through his head, whether he wanted it to or not. A couple times when his mind had started to wander, he'd caught himself imagining he was Derek's partner in that video. The fear of such imaginations was steadily being overtaken by an inner desire, causing the "fantasies" to play out at greater length each time around.

Patrick tentatively touched the laptop, his fingertips trembling across the surface. He kept telling Brian he was okay, that he'd put Derek out of his head, that he didn't want any of that. And when Brian was around, the conviction was stronger. But the minute he was gone, thoughts of Derek flooded over him, weakening his spirit and his body.

His thumb gripped the edge of the laptop lid.

Don't do it. Don't open it.

The lid rose a fraction... then a bit more... then all the way. Patrick stared at the screen and his heart began to pound—drumming against his chest wall, stuttering his breath. Short, soft gasps puffed from his lips as he struggled to breathe normal but could not.

His fingers moved with a mind and motive of their own, fluttering across the keys.

Then Patrick was staring at the home page of the Gideon's Angels site... the video clips automatically streaming across the top half of the page. Shaking inside, Patrick clicked on the models tab and was suddenly looking at an array of beautiful nude men, each with their name below their photo. He tried not to linger or stare as he hurriedly searched for Derek, but his eyes snagged on the "twins" and held. Derek had called them angels and they were truly angelic. Had they not been featured there in the nude on a porn site, there was no way anyone would've taken them to be porn stars. They looked so... innocent. Mickey hadn't said much on the phone, but what he did say had been delivered with a sweet, tender voice.