Capturing Bella

12

12

It felt nice not sleeping alone, but instead with the company of another person.

Vunjult body's curved around mine effortlessly. As he rubbed me to sleep, the silk frabic of my night gown massaging his hands.

"Vunjult?"

"Yes?" He answered in a raspy tone.

"Can we go somewhere tomorrow?" I asked staring in his eyes.

It's been a long time since I've been in a car, or any transportation. The only thing my vision holds is acres of land. It wasn't enough, of course I wanted more.

I wanted more freedom.

And I can't say that the freedom wouldn't lead me to elsewhere. But I'd like to have the feeling.

"Your not ready" Vunjult whispered.

That was always his same response and I guess I understand from his controlling perspective, it was a risk.

Being here I feel like I've transformed in a good way but also bad ways. It's positive and negative aspects. I feel like I'm still learning myself I would like to learn one my own, without Vunjult's influence.

It was dumb of me to think he'd allow that, I do feel like I care for him. But I was still confused.
I wish for once I could actually talk to Mr. Ernest and tell him all the crazy things that's happened since we've last talk, he'd be amazed.

I thought as I was placed in a deep sleep
-
Morning

Usually during my days I stayed outised reading or hoping that bute would appear. I know it's kiddish of me to think after entering the woods and letting a animal go that it would just magically appear back home.

But I still had the false hope inside of my heart. At times I found myself entirely to vulnerable with Vunjult, and even though he didn't mind. I had to protect my self from being comfortable with my weakness before it escalated.

It made him happy however, everytime I approached him it proves to him how much I needed him.

I sigh before placing all the fallen leave into the huge garabage can, I felt, Vunjult's eyes burning through me. Before it would paralyze me but because it's become the norm, I now execute well under the pressure.

He always wanted to make sure I didn't go to far.

The intensity of the connection becoming to much for me. And Vunjult never made it easier, he always appeared naked and slightly covered.

He never minded showering and walking in front of me bare in his pure form. Those are terrible things to do to a person, signals with no context. He did it with the intent of gaining my attention.

I can't resonate with sex. Through out my life I've never had the opportunity or time to. I've always distance myself from people and became disgusted within myself whenever I yearned for any kind of pleasure.

But Vunjult was cruel to me, I didn't know how to respond? It was all becoming to much, I'd hate to regret a spare moment.

I couldn't harm or cause myself more damage. More emotions weren't wanted or needed. But the nature of the beast exudes from us both.

"Thank you" I greeted the chef as he handed me a glass of tea and a bowl of fruits. I sat on the porch, enjoying my refreshments.

As Vunjult always placed himself in my presence. This time clothed, unlike this morning.

He welcomed himself to my bowl, using his wide hands to dig before taking majority of my fruit. Leaving nothing but a couple of grapes.

"That wasn't necessary Vunjult" I scolded leaving him alone outside.

He followed me step for step. "I'm sorry" he chuckled placing his hand on my back.

I reflexed and move his hand quickly. He made it impossible to have space or breathe, he always invaded my air. Never considered my needs or wants.

The warmth from his face disappeared as I faced him.

"Moody today?" He asked.

" Tired" I dryly responded making my way towards the guests room.

"Then let's go to sleep together bella-"

"I can go alone" my voice snapped.

He stood at the door way as I closed the door in his face. He didn't bother to come in and I'm guessing he got the message that I wanted time alone.

I needed to think about things and if I could continue on like this. I knew being passive aggressive wasn't the correct way. That then triggered, Vunjult to be on guard. Although he deserved that I didn't want to cause any conflict, or violence to occur for myself.

He was great at making me beat myself up. I just felt so many emotions inside of me that grew warmer, and warmer by the hour. I knew sleep was only a temporary fix for it.