that one Stream - A Tommyinnit angst.

Chapter 22

( OH MY GOD I LOVE DEVILINNIT BUT LIKE ANGELINNIT?- HELL YEAH)

( weewooo weeeo you hear that? That's The Trigger Warning :) ⚠️⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️⚠️ Voices + Mentions of Previous Abuse/Haressment , Mental/Physical Abuse and some Fluff ⚠️⚠️)

(Tommy's POV)

Deo Tells me to Take Deep breathes and I try to it works a little bit,he tells me to clean off the blood dripping from my forehead.

I tell him ok, I put my phone on my bed, I go to the bathroom and I turn on the sinks water and take a hand full of water and wash the blood off my face.

I turn off the water and go back to my phone,"now tell me what happened" he said in a tone that made me feel scared but strangely Comfortable.

"My Pa- Dad Called me down stairs he insulted me and threw me against the wall. It was awfully painful"

"Listen it's gonna be ok alright? If they do anything else tell me and I promise they won't do it again" deo's tone was extremely Creepy but I choose to ignore it and nod.

We eventually end Call, And I put my phone on the charger to charge and opened my bedside table, and I grab my vent Journal.( People think I forgot about the journal I didn't :) )

I grab a Pen from my Desk and I open the last page I wrote in, Damn it's been a long time since I've written here.

I flip the page and start writing(thank you Pinterest for helping me- istg my storage would be dead-)

"it's been getting harder to open up lately I always just change the subject when deo asks to talk about it."

"I am starting to get so angry at myself
Just because I am me? It's hard to explain how it feels to anyone hell
I can barely explain it to myself"

"I just feel so Needy I need someone, Anyone, to need me.

I just want to feel wanted instead of feeling Broken, and isolated."

"Sometime I feel like no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I give, I will never be good enough for anyone or anything"

"My grades are slowly going from 75 minimum to a 55 Minimum I need to work on that or else my parents insults get worse I am super stressed and I have zero motivation, I am pretty sure I might have a breakdown but it's fine I am fine I always am."

"Why does my heart hurt whenever I am enjoying my life for once it's like it's trying to remind me that I might do something stupid and fuck everything up like I always do"

"It sucks knowing it doesn't matter how much I try I'll never make anyone proud, and I always try my best to."

"It's hard opening up to anyone after what happened with them I don't like remembering what they did because why should I be stuck Remembering what they did to me when they probably don't even remember or fucking care they made it clear that they no longer  find me valuable or interesting"

I put my pen back in my desk and I put the Journal back, it's funny how if anyone read this journal, They'd Immediately Know 80% of my Secrets.

( That's now foreshadowing I swear atleast I think so?)

I look at my phone and I see that it's Now 7:45AM shit last time I checked it was still 3.

I set up an alarm for 1pm and try to sleep.

It was hard cause I knew damn well why I hated sleeping, every time I try to sleep I just hear screams and extremely loud voices.

I usually would take sleeping pills to help but I ran out, I don't know what or who's voices they are but they won't let me sleep,please just let me sleep.