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𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜𝚊𝚐𝚘 ┏━━━━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━━━━┓
𝚈/𝚗'𝚜𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚢 Today is Tuesday, 16th April and it is my father's birthday. Also, the anniversary of my mother's death. Ten years ago today my mother got caught up in a gang war and was shot straight in the heart, killing her on impact. That bastard still hasn't got his karma yet and I swore on the day of her funeral that I would be the one to avenge her. My mother didn't deserve to die, well no one does really but as soon as they commit an act such an murder, in my eyes, that person is asking for a death sentence.
Oops, I got too into it again...anyway, I'm really not sure what to do for father's birthday this year and I'm sure by next year I'll be in an even worse situation. It's like children at Christmas. Parents will ask what they want and each year the answer leads more towards "I don't know" or "I have no idea" which is completely unhelpful but totally understandable. If you have everything present that makes you happy then why gain anything else? What if the child is a teenager who no longer wants physical objects but longs for an emotional connection with someone? Can a parent really find a way to gift them that? I don't think so. I think that is the soul purpose of growing up. Having to put yourself out there so that others notice you and contemplate whether or not you are worth their time, you do the exact same with them. This is how we decide friend from foe too, well only partly, as we could decide someone is worthy of our time and attention but then they could stab us in the back a minute later. Friends come and go so we just have to choose wisely for the ones who will stick around the longest.
Fortunately for me, my father's job often scared the "fake" friends away before they could even recite my name back to me, but I didn't mind, those who did learn my name are still by my side to this day. That also may be because they are apart of my father's mafia but I trust them nonetheless!
Man, writing in a formal way is exhausting but dad says I need to try and "act like a proper lady of my age", what does that even mean? I'm 24 years old so shouldn't I be out partying with a huge group of friends at some frat party when we should really be studying for upcoming exams? Or attending some fancy shmancy ball every three months where I'm only allowed to drink two glasses of champagne and they can't be consecutive! I have to drink them sip by sip instead of just downing them in one gulp that would actually benefit me a lot! Having to listen to those old farts go on about their past and how a "lady" of my age should already be looking for a suitor who can support me financially so that I can bare children and keep the family tradition going. Yeah, no thanks, I'd rather live my life while I still can before advancing to that stage of my adult life.
