Funko Theft

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"Someone stole my funko pops."
"What?" Lena looks up from her paper work, not even flinching at Kara stomping around her office.
"The funko pops I keep on my desk, someone stole them."
"Is that why you're crying?"
"Yes. I'm crying. Those fuckers were expensive."
"Alrighty then."
"That limited edition Todoroki was $50. So you really think I can just buy another one?"
"Have you looked for them?"
"What? You just want me to go up to the queen of all media and ask her to help me find my missing Asami? And let her see me cry because someone stole my funko of Korra bending? Yeah, no thank you."
"Do you want me to buy them for you."
"No, Lena."
"Well, sorry. I'm at a loss, Kara."
"Ugh. My lunch is over. I have to go back to my depressingly empty cubicle.
~~~
"You stole your sister's Asami, didn't you?"
"I did no such thing."
"Oh my god, you totally did."
"No I-"
"I'm calling your wife."
"Wait-"
"Alex, what have you done?"
"She was getting too attached!"
"Well, no shit. Kara just came to my work -crying, I should add- because her funko pops were gone."
"I didn't mean to upset her..."
"Return them. Before I tell her and Maggie what you did."
"I can't."
"Why the hell not?"
"I don't have them."
"But you took them, what, just this morning? Why are they already missing?"
"Well, she has like 9 of those fuckers. We both know I took them. I had to go to work, so I brought them with me. J'onn confiscated two, Brainy was curious about them so I let him hold one, Nia wanted one, Lucy grabbed two for her and Vasquez. Oh, and I could swear that Mon-El took one. He won't admit to it but I know the lying bastard totally did."
"That's only seven..."
"Ah yes, Sam stopped by and I told her to take the last two and run, before Kara could figure out what happened."
"I don't know if I tell you this enough, but you're an idiot."
"Love you too?"
"Get them back. Now. Before she yells at me again."
~~~
"Sam, how much ice cream do you think I'll need?"
"That is the million dollar question, Alex. How many were there originally?"
"Like, 9."
"Wow, how cruel are you?"
"The goddamn funkos were interfereing with our sister nights. If I heard her talk about My Hero Academia one more time, I was going to break."
"Ruby's mad at you."
"What? Why?"
"Appearently she understands Kara's pain."
"This is a mess," Alex sighs, "Back to the ice cream?"
"I think it's safe to start with 5 gallons and then go from there."
"Thanks, we'll talk later. Bye Sam," Alex hangs up the phone.
~~~
"You sure you have them all?"
"Yes, Lena. I just went on a witch hunt. I had pry one from Lucy's hands, convince a crying Brainy to give Korra up, convince Nia to give Deku back with my own $50 and body slam Mon-El, just to get him to admit to taking one. Then, break into my boss' office to grab 2 and cross the city just to grab the others from Sam."
"So you had a fun afternoon."
"Maggie's going to want to know about the bruise on my hip and my empty wallet."
"Now we learned our lesson?"
Alex scoffs, "How much ice cream do you think it will take Kara to forgive me? Sam said 5 gallons but I fear that won't be enough."
"Throw in some potstickers for diversity."
"Lena, hey, I was wondering-"
"Kara."
"Alex."
"So, what're you doing here?," the older sibling asks, fidgeting.
"More important question: why is the Kool Aid man on Lena's desk?"
"Alex."
"Yes, Lena?"
"Run."

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 02, 2021 ⏰

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