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The End Of Us All
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The Final Verdict
Spelling and Grammar (5): 3.8
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15): 8.7
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc] (20): 12
Plot (30): 12.3
Fan Votes [should be the same for every judge] (10): 8.7
Judges Vote (20): 8.1
Total: 53.6
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Individual Judges' Votes and Comments
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Spelling and Grammar (5): 5
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15): 7
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc] (20): 10
Plot (30): 15
Fan Votes [should be the same for every judge] (10): 8.7
Judges Vote (20): 15
Total: 60.7
Additional Comments: So interesting start, I’m happy you’ve focused on Hope since he’s kind of one of the lesser seen characters in a lot of these stories. But I’m having a little difficulty understanding why you would add in so many non-KH/FF characters at the very beginning when there are like 20+ of them that will probably work their way in at some point. Like I get that you like the characters you chose, but to me it makes more sense to swap some of the other characters for some more commonly known KH/FF characters if you’re going to call this story a KH/FF story. While I didn’t really see many spelling and grammar mistakes, the whole thing had a very quick, very convoluted pace to it. Like one second we were inside, the next we were all scattered, and then the next second we were getting chummy with a band of strangers and weren’t in the slightest concerned with where Hope’s mom went. The plot took over and things started happening so quickly that the writing became a little scant for detail and emotion. Like...A building had just crashed down on top of everyones head, probably killing a lot of people, yet they seem more concerned with yucky tasting herbs.
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Spelling and Grammar (5): 3
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15): 10
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc] (20): 12
Plot (30): 13
Fan Votes [should be the same for every judge] (10): 8.7
Judges Vote (20): 12
Total: 58.7
Additional Comments: The immediate rush of OCs repelled me almost instantaneously, but I had to keep reading so that I could give you a proper grade. Honey, I don’t even remember one of your OCs’ names, and I just read the darn thing. Adding a bunch of OCs right from the start isn’t always the best thing to do, because readers will be expecting to see their favorite characters and instead get bombarded with new people that they’ve never heard of before. Also… Hope Estheim. Reading a zombie manual. Hah. Honey, no. I’m all for a good zombie fic, but the keyword here is “good,” and that’s just not what I’m getting here. As for grammar and just the writing in general, you put commas in places where they didn’t belong, and some of the dialogue didn’t even fit: “‘It’s glowing,’ she said… ‘As small as you are, we can’t carry you,’ Rush told her.” Maybe you could add in a part about Rush disregarding what Chiara said, but those lines of dialogue did not sit well with me at all.
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'Best KH/FF/Others Story' Competition Judgment Book
FanfictionWhere all results, feedback, comments, judges input, and scores will be posted. If you're in this competition, this book is your lifeline. It's how you can connect with the judges, the other writers, and the other stories.
