𝕊𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪~ 𝕎𝕚𝕝𝕓𝕦𝕣 𝕤𝕠𝕠𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥

𝕋𝕨𝕠

I was sitting at my desk, just sitting. I wasn't planning on doing anything special, I'm not in the mood for scrolling on my phone for hours. Or playing some dumb game on my computer. I wanted to do something with Sally.

No not in that way.

I want to run around and hold hands like if we were teenagers again, I want to lay in a field and be engulfed in pollin. Even if I may be allergic, the flower field reminded me of her. I want to text her.. how do I text her?

"Phil!" I called from my room, knowing damn well he's not going to get up and walk to my room. Sighing I get up from my desk and walk to him. He was cooking in the kitchen.

"Phil I need help" "Good morning to you too" "phillll"

It's not even morning, it's 12:31 pm...

How do I express emotions? Without hurting myself a little bit inside, I made a promise to myself. 'No matter what, emotions don't matter well now they do. Talking about my feeling made me tear up, even if it's not emotional. Hell, I could be talking about how much I love pizza and I'd tear up.

That's just what suppressing feelings does to yo- "Wilbur!".. that's my name.

"Oh yeah?" I asked, it took me a second to register that I had to respond. "What do you need help with?" He looked up at me from washing the dishes. "How do I.. how do I text her?" "Her?" He raised his eyebrows, "Sally! You know who I'm talking about!" He just laughed at me.

I could tell he was finding words to say so he could help with my dilemma. I shouldn't have asked, I'm being annoying. I should have just stayed in my room. "Well.. you should ask her how she is. How's her day been or if she's not busy, don't be too demanding though." His suddenly speaking snapped me out of my trance.

"Can you type that for me?" "No Wilbur, I know it's hard but just try and see what happens "

I mumbled an 'okay' and walk slowly back into my room. In all honesty, I had no rush to head back into my room and ask her how she was. He told me the words, now I just have to write them. I know what I have to say. Just say it.. Hell no I can't do this.

Sighing I put my hand on my head. This is the worst part of socializing, well one of the first parts. Why do I have to be the one to start the interaction?

Flipping my phone over and putting in the password, I eventually open the messaging app and hover my finger over her contact name. 'Sally :)' I wasn't one of those weird people to put four emojis next to a person's name, so I simply put on a smiley face. 'Cause, she makes my stomach feel smiley.

'Hey, how are you!' No that's too demanding

'Hey' no it sounds like I'm mad

'What's up sally' ew no

'Are you free?' Free from what? Dumbass

'Hello do you feel like going out with me' that's just- no

'Heyyy' what is wrong with me

'Hello! Are you up to do anything today?' No what am I? An English teacher?

This cycle was repetitive, type and delete. Over and over again. I kept on overthinking my words, some sentences were too long and some too short. Some sounded like I was yelling while others sounded like I was shy.

It was all too overwhelming, the talking, the feelings, everything. I just couldn't do it. Feeling tears prick my eyes I turn off my phone and set it down in front of me.

I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't

Those words chanted in my head as if they were protesting something. I wanted to so badly, to say hello and talk with her. I don't even know if she wants to talk to me.. maybe she doesn't. Oh god am I a creep? Is this creepy?

Glancing back at my phone, that's when I broke. I slammed my arms on the desk and rested my head on them.

I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't

Let me say hello to her please, I want to be able to say hello to her. I want to hold her face and kiss her forehead. I want to sit next to her and fall asleep next to each other on the couch.

I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't

A broken sob escapes my lips as I shut my eyes close. My hands go to my head as I grasp onto my hair and yank it away from my head.

I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't

Tears roll off my cheeks onto my sweater, as short quiet sobs become the only sound I can say. She sends me a text..

maybe I can.

My eyes shoot to my phone as the ding goes off and I see my phone flash on.. 'Sally :)' sent one message..

maybe I can.

'Hey,wil! Want to hang out today :)'
1:56 pm

'Sure 🙃'
1:57 pm

—————

Hey! How are you?

Lmao, I sound like Wilbur trying to type- anyways, how was this?
It's a little bit shorter considering I'm literally in English class right now.

As always let me know if I spelled something wrong or used grammar wrong :)

(Word count 942)
—Tye