NAUGHTY; hyunho ✓

❯ 𝙪 ; 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗

minho tapped his foot anxiously under the table of his friend's restaurant. his lips were in a frown and eyes still wavering, his heart paced rapidly against his chest and he felt his heart heavy. minho's mind was racing, over thinking everything and still trying to process things.

he looked up after the bell chimed and hyunjae entered the restaurant that wasn't too crowded. minho smiled as the older's eyes met his and he went towards the younger who sat on the very corner of the restaurant beside the window. hyunjae sat on the seat in front of minho and his face scrunched up.
❝ hey minnie, anything wrong? ❞
he asked concerned and minho pursed his lips.

minho fidgeted with his hands resting on the table, his mouth opened trying to say something but no words would come out and his body was slightly shaking.
❝ u-umm.... ❞
he started, taking in a shaking breath.
❝ i-i just want to t-talk to you about s-something. ❞
he said quietly, his back getting shivers and he breathed slowly.

hyunjae noticed minho struggling with a panic attack, his stomach dropped and he felt anxious. he reached out and held minho's hands that were trembling on the table and forced a smile despite the bad feeling he's getting.
❝ it's okay. ❞
he said softly.

minho stared at him and breathed, he smiled a little let out an exhale of breath, finally calming down from his panic and looked down again at the table, afraid to look at hyunjae's eyes.
❝ h-hyunjin..... isn't.... married..... ❞
he managed to say and hyunjae's heart dropped, he looked down and frowned, letting go of minho's hand.
❝ so you knew already..... ❞
he said and sighed.
❝ y-you said i shouldn't worry about anything because the wedding went well while i was gone. yo-you didn't tell me about his accident, you didn't tell me everything. e-everyone.... why didn't they tell me? ❞
minho breathed in again and grabbed onto hyunjae's hand.

❝ why didn't you tell me? ❞
his voice cracked, trying to choke back his tears and weakly squeezed hyunjae's hand.

❝ because i.... ❞
hyunjae started and held in a shaking breath, afraid to look at minho's desperate eyes.
❝ it was my mistake, i was selfish, i hid the truth from you because i was scared. if you knew what happened you'd stay and go back to him and i..... i just..... i regret it.... i can't blame you if you hate me now.... but i did it because i...... ❞
hyunjae trailed off and gulped the lump in his throat that stung painfully.

❝ i know i'm not and i'll never be him, i know i can never replace him in your life and i know never in a million years you'll love me with even just a fraction of how you loved him. but...... ❞
hyunjae sighed and gripped minho's hand tighter.
❝ can't you see i'm trying? ❞
he said with glass eyes and looked at minho who stared at him with his expression unreadable.

❝ i really love you minho, i mean it, that's why i lied. i appreciate that you try to accept my feelings, but i don't want to be hurt again, especially since you're a really good person i care about a lot. ❞
hyunjae let go of minho's hand and sighed, minho felt salty tears unnoticed run down his cheeks, he looked up at hyunjae with eyes full of sorry.
❝ i'm sorry minho, i hope you can forgive me. ❞
hyunjae said and stood up, bowing apologetically at minho before walking out the restaurant.

minho stood up rapidly from the seat and ran towards the older.
❝ wait! hyunjae hyung! ❞
he grabbed onto the older's hand, stopping him in front of the restaurant and hyunjae sighed.
❝ i'm not mad that you didn't tell me, i can never hate you, listen, please trust me when i say i really like you— ❞

❝ but he's the one you love, he's the one you'll still and always love. i don't want you to be unhappy with me because i know you still want him. please, i don't want to get hurt again, let's just end this right here minho. i.... i have to go.... ❞ 
hyunjae broke his hand away, not sparing a glance because he didn't want to show his tears, he walked ahead leaving minho standing there.

the skies gave no mercy as rain started to fall and minho barely kept himself dry under the shed of the restaurant stall. he couldn't move, just watching hyunjae leave him standing there with a broken heart.
how many times....
he thought out of resentment.
how many times will i cry and watch them leave while i can't even move a single muscle?
he balled his fists.

it's so cold.

it has always been so cold.

he took a single step, still a sobbing mess but tired, tired of the people he hoped to love breaking his heart and leaving him out in the cold alone and crying.
i have always been alone.
minho thought out while taking hastil steps away, into the falling rain without an umbrella.
so why do i expect these people to stay?

minho hugged himself while walking in the sidewalks, his tears that were falling mean nothing as they were one with the rain, like his screams and pain inside that were in one with the people who won't listen to his feelings.
am i really the one hurting them?
minho asked himself and pursed his lips, in misery thinking of how much pain hyunjae must be enduring because he was insensitive or what hyunjin must've felt when he left without saying anything.

but what about me?
he hugged himself tighter, finally feeling what they called selfishness he almost never possessed. greed, anger, resentment, it was all taking over inside and he felt a taste of bitterness lingering in his taste buds.
❝ they've hurt me too.... ❞
he whispered and stopped, he did want to hate them, be selfish, get back for hurting him and for never listening to what he had felt. but he couldn't, he hated how much of a push over he was.

minho didn't understand, at how many times those people break his heart, shatter it into pieces and tear him apart, he still yearns for them. that's the unforgiving thing about pain, we want to be comforted by the ones who hurt us. because they are the only ones who can really heal and fix a portion of the pieces they broke.

❝ minho! ❞
he heard a voice he didn't but also wanted to hear that he came to an abrupt stop, slowly turning around to see hyunjin getting out his car and running up to him. hyunjin took off his coat and draped it over the older who kept his head down, controlling his muffled sobs not moving from his place.
❝ what are you doing— are you okay? what happened? ❞
he asked full of concern, his face scrunched up but minho still won't look at him and stood in his place with fists balled up. 

hyunjin pulled him in and hugged him, his hand behind the older's head as he let it rest on his shoulder. minho didn't hug back, he still didn't move, but he sobbed in the younger's arms, weakly punching hyunjin's chest repetitively of agony. hyunjin frowned and rested his head on minho's trying to calm him down, disregarding the pain and hits he was getting. it has been a while, since he felt this pain of seeing minho cry.

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𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙥𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 :  𝟷𝟸𝟸𝟾𝟸𝙾
this chapter hit me hard like a bulldozer like a tank like a soldier kowasu yo kimi no kokoro no gaado—

kinda sad they broke up bc i was really starting to ship them :>>>

also i've been addicted listening to joke's on you for a while now. one of my personal faves from the birds of prey ost. i actually have a hyunho psycho/assassin au in my drafts for a few months now but sadly i kinda want to give up on it cause i have no trust in my writing skills :PP

edit : i forgot about that book in my drafts lmao