The Future I Believe In

Different Worlds

It just hit me... I have no one who loves me the way I desire to be loved.

That means while I'm bawling my eyes out, he's hanging out with his girlfriend and his other friends...

It also means that if I die he won't care. But if he died, my world would crumble beneath me.

While I'm day dreaming the perfect life with him because I can't sleep, he's actually dreaming about his life with his girlfriend, sleeping peacefully.

How can he watch me struggle being his "friend" when all I wanna do is kiss him. How can he be my "friend" when he knows I'm killing myself...

I'm falling into this relapse and I feel like no one is there for me. I sing loudly and dance drastically when I'm alone.

Only because I wear myself out so I can actually get some sleep. It sucks that the insomnia comes back when I get close... but I realize that the close I can get is being friends.

People would kill to be like that... but it sucks and I hate it. What else can I do besides day dream about him.

I'm slowly killing myself with all this heartbreak I put myself through. Which means I'm going to want more and more pain throughout the weeks.

Not like he would care anyways...