1 (jaylor) wisteria hearts and caged folk songs

chapter twenty one.

Their trip to the lakes was nearly halfway through - they had five days left. They never wanted it to end. Taylor finally felt like she was herself. Finally felt like there weren't eyes watching her and every move she made. She still felt the guilt hang heavy over her head from last night, she could barely sleep. Taylor couldn't believe that she hadn't been able to do it. Because she really wanted to. She wanted to do it with him, and she knew that he wasn't Adam. She knew that. But she just... couldn't. She felt so embarrassed about herself, felt like she was a failure.
"Good morning," Joe turned to face her in bed, kissing her forehead. "How did you sleep?"
"I didn't... I couldn't sleep." Taylor admitted to him softly. She nestled into his chest, as he pulled the blankets back up over them. "I just feel so bad that I didn't..." She fretted. "I should have. I'm sorry."
Joe responded by leaning in and kissing her. "You have nothing to apologise for. And you shouldn't have. I would have felt awful if you'd done it when you weren't ready, love. I wouldn't have forgiven myself. It's honestly okay that you couldn't. I'm just so happy that you told me you couldn't do it. You don't have to feel bad, Taylor. I don't want you to feel bad." He breathed. "I'll wait as long as necessary for you to feel like you can. I don't mind, please trust me."
"I just feel like I should have been able to." She bit her lip. "I feel so embarrassed." She pulled the cover up over her head, hiding away from those Atlantis blue eyes.
She smiled when she saw Joe's head peak in underneath the blankets. She laughed as he pulled the covers over his head too.
"You don't need to hide - there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm not even thinking about it." He assured her. Joe laced his fingers through hers, bringing her hand up to his lips. "I love you, Taylor. I don't care about what did or didn't happen last night. I just want you to be happy. You're allowed to say no, and you're allowed to not feel comfortable with something."
She smiled at him. "Maybe we could just hide here, at the lakes forever."
"I would love to hide here with you. Imagine - waking up to this every morning, and living like this." He sighed, pulling her into his chest. "I don't care where I am, as long as it's with you."
Taylor kissed him. She was the luckiest woman in the entire world.

Before lunch, they'd had a tour of Beatrix Potter's house, and Taylor was in love. She'd always loved the tales of Peter Rabbit and all of her other stories. Her mom used to read them to her before she went to bed - and if Taylor was lucky, she'd get to read two of them. Even in winter, this place was spectacular. Taylor had already concluded that they were going to have to come back here, that they would have to come back in summer. She was already planning what they'd do next time they came. Before they'd left, Joe had told his parents that he was in the United Kingdom, that he'd be coming to stay with them. With his girlfriend, Taylor heard him say. She'd heard the warmth on his lips as he had told them that he was coming, heard the happiness. She was happy too, seeing him like this. She'd never get tired of seeing that glimmer in his eyes.

Now, they were on their way to do a horse trek around the Windermere peaks.
"I suppose that now would be a bad time to say that I am terrified of horses?" Joe said as they pulled up to the stables. Taylor couldn't help herself and burst out laughing.
"Why?"
"I had... a bad experience as a child and it's scarred me for life." A smile found its way onto his lips.
"What happened?"
"I fell off one time - and broke my arm in three places. I was in the hospital for a month." Joe told her. "They couldn't get the cast right," He shook his head.
"I'll help you." Taylor took his arm as they walked inside. "You won't fall off this time. If you don't want to do this that's okay too, there's a nice walking track a few miles from here."
"No, I'll give it a go. But you'd better wait in the hospital with me when a horse squashes me." He cautioned as they walked over.
"They're not going to hurt you." Taylor leaned up and kissed his cheek. She'd arranged this with the lady who owned the cottage they were staying in. It was an older man who had absolutely no clue who they were.