Something had been bothering Joe since they'd gotten home, and Taylor could tell because he wouldn't stop fidgeting. His eyebrows were knitted together, and stress seemed to be written all over his face. She knew him well enough now to know that's what he did when something was wrong when he was stressed or worried about something.
She had a shower and winced when she saw the bruising. She was proud of herself for finally saying something, even though she shouldn't have been put in that situation in the first place. She was so frustrated that he'd found her here and pursued her. He'd told her that it wouldn't be the end of it. She knew he wasn't lying. She knew Adam better than anyone else in the world. Knew his games, knew how he hurt. Knew his routine like the palm of her hand because she knew she had to know it off by heart in order to survive. There wasn't another person on the planet that knew him as she did. She wished she didn't know him like the palm of her hand, but she did, she'd accepted that.
She stood staring at herself in the mirror, paying attention to the fact that her cheeks weren't so hollow anymore, her chin wasn't quite so pointed, and her arms weren't as bruised anymore. Now, her hair seemed to fit her face. It didn't seem to stand out so much. Her neck was bruised, it might have been one of the worst ones Adam had ever given her. She was embarrassed about it - because it was in the shape of his hand and every single time that she looked at it, she could remember it.
Her back pressed against the wall, Adam's hair dripping from the heavy rain. The tears, and his rage on his face. The way she was sure that she could feel his pulse, feel the heartbeat that had almost killed her far too many times. The way he looked at her as if she was replaceable - even when he said that she was the sort of person that he couldn't live without. The way she had been scared, fearful of what he would do with his anger. She climbed into the shower, biting her lip. She had unbandaged her arm and saw that for the first time in a long time, her cuts were healing. There was no new blood, and she felt proud of herself. They were turning white. She wasn't used to feeling like this - feeling proud of something so little. She smiled, just for a second. And she realised that this was the first time that she'd felt like this by herself. Usually, her level of self-admiration was determined by someone else telling her that she was good, or that they were proud of her. Usually, her self-worth was based on the words of others. But this time, she'd found those feelings alone. She'd found them while staring at herself in the mirror. She found them without anyone telling her. It was... it was a rarity. That in itself was an act to be proud of.
Joe was still pacing around when she got out of the shower. He made eye contact with her briefly, before looking back down. He was wearing an emerald turtle neck and dark jeans with his hair hanging loosely over his forehead. His eyes were weary. His eyes looked at her with something that she couldn't quite read. She was good at reading everyone, so this fact worried her. She'd become familiar with the art of ensuring that she knew people's thoughts - and it made her anxious when she did not know their reactions, their worries or thoughts.
"What's wrong?" She asked, walking over to him. She took his hand in hers and rested the other hand on his cheek. "Did I do something?" It was her constant fear. She always thought that things were her fault. She was working on this mindset, but it still hurt her. She felt like she was just waiting for everyone in her life to abandon her, waiting for everyone to decide that she wasn't worthy of their love.
"God no, Taylor. I just... I can't believe that I wasn't here, again... I wasn't fucking here and he did that to you." He told her sadly. "I just feel like it's all my fault... because I should have been there to fucking get him off of you. But I wasn't... and your Mum called me and when I heard her say what was happening... I don't think that I've ever felt like that before. I just can't believe that I wasn't there for you. Again." She could see the disappointment that was drawn across his face, and it hurt to see him blame himself for something he had no part in.
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1 (jaylor) wisteria hearts and caged folk songs
Fanfiction- book one of wisteria hearts (six books are published) - two souls don't just find each other by pure, sweet, simple accident. it's serendipity. Taylor Swift, some would say, was one of the biggest celebrities out there. It's funny, given this fact...
