1 (jaylor) wisteria hearts and caged folk songs

chapter nineteen.

If they'd thought the lakes dazzled in the afternoon, they glistened in the morning. Taylor had read that there was nothing more spectacular than the sunset illuminating the Windermere peaks in the afternoon. So, taking this into account, she'd planned a hike that was supposed to show off the beauty of the sunset. It was a relief to not want to pass out when she did exercise - that was because she was eating food and because she wasn't working out eight times a day. Because she was giving her body the nutrition it needed while giving her heart the love it had longed for.
They'd spent yesterday indoors, getting to know the place and getting used to the time difference. They'd watched Netflix and snuggled on the couch.

Today, Taylor had planned to do a private tour of William Wordsworth's house, he was one of the original poets that moved here. She'd been reading about him all day yesterday, and she could barely contain her excitement. Joe had brought his collection of poetry with them - and they spent the afternoon yesterday reading it on the balcony outside their cottage. It really did feel like they were completely alone. It was an odd feeling, because she knew that technically she was always alone, because it wasn't like the fans or paparazzi were ever in her own home, but it felt like she could actually breathe. Like she could take a walk outside without feeling as if the cameras were on her, without having to keep an eye out for paparazzi. She loved her Rhode Island home for this reason - for the fact that now, as the trees had grown and the bushes had spread, it was a bit more private. But she could still tell that at every waking moment of every single day, there were people outside her gate, at her fence. Waiting and watching.

It had taken her a long time to overcome this specific factor of her life. That the only time she was ever truly alone was behind her own four walls, and this was sometimes the most lonely feeling in the world. She knew that her name was a public thing, knew that her fans always begged her to post more, to write more songs, to do so much more than she already did. But it was a balancing act - because the more active she was, the more attention it brought to her personal life. After everything with Karlie, and Adam, she didn't want to bring it all to the front of the media.

She had woken up before Joe this morning and was in the kitchen. Taylor stared out over the lakes, watching as the dew was beginning to lift and the sun was beginning to appear over the peaks. She sighed. She wanted for this to be her life forever. Living in a little cottage, with greenery scattered around the stone walls, with no other houses near it. She wished that she could just pack up and move here. Wished that it was possible to live a life like this. She knew that she'd given that up the moment she signed onto a Record Label, but she couldn't help but wish that somehow, a life like that could be hers. She'd had the best nights sleep she'd had in months last night, and she felt like being here was sewing a piece of herself back together. She realised that happiness was important for her health because she'd actually started eating properly again. She felt like she had more energy, and that feeling of wanting to faint every single time she exercised was fading. It wasn't getting any easier to turn off that little voice in her head that knew exactly how many calories were in everything she was eating, and how much exercise she'd have to do to burn it off. But another voice had started telling her that it was okay to eat like this and not over exercise. It was okay. She was healing. She could already see such a big difference in herself, and she liked it. She like that her eyes didn't look quite so hollow, or the fact that some of her natural curves were finally coming back.

"Good morning," Joe said from behind her. She jumped. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He kissed her. They'd started doing this every morning, kissing each other. It was the nicest thing that they'd started to do, and it was such a lovely thing to wake up to.
"It's okay!" Taylor pulled backwards. "I made us breakfast and a cup of tea!" She told Joe to go and sit down at the table, and she could tell that he looked a lot more alive here. Like hers, his eyes sparkled like the Caribbean ocean, and she often found herself getting lost in them.