Silver Lining (Newtmas)

12 - Fantasies

Thomas POV

I walked into the Homestead and sat on my mattress, Newt's words ringing inside my mind. I covered my ears with my hands; suddenly the buzzing in the Glade seemed way too noisy for me. I shut my eyes, and a picture of Newt, hurt and pleading, flashed before my eyes. 

Instantly, I felt guilty. All he wanted me to do was stay safe, and after all that the Maze had taken away from him, I couldn't fulfil his one wish? What kind of person was I?

And he was right. The Glade had been protected, safe, for all these years. I still hoped - or expected - that one day I would go through training to become a Runner and get us all out of here, but right now, I'll focus on Newt. Whatever keeps him happy, keeps me happy.

And that was the end of all these nonsense. I'll live my life like a normal Glader, without disturbance or messing up things, as I had evidently already done. 

Until Minho opened the door to the Homestead, panting. 

"Where the shuck have you been? Newt told me to tell you that you're gonna be a runner. Training starts the day after tomorrow, get your ass off your bed by 5." He turned to walk out, done delivering his news. Just as he walked out, he poked his head back in. "And by the way, I know your little secret with Newt." He winked and walked away.

I sat on my bed with my mouth ajar, staring in his direction as if I was expecting him to waltz back through. Which honestly, as little as I knew about him, I wouldn't be surprised if he did. What I was surprised about was what he had said.

Firstly. Newt was letting me be a Runner?! Whaaaaaat. Just when I felt guilty about my eagerness, too. Secondly, how did Minho of all people know about Newt and I? Were we that obvious? Oh god.

I picked myself up from the mattress, walking out of the room. I was going to find Newt; he had a lot of questions to answer to.

I ambled around the Glade for a bit, spotting Newt talking with Frypan in his kitchen. He noticed me as well; his eyes lit up for a moment, before he looked away pointedly, continuing his conversation with Frypan. My heart fell a little but I tried to smile nonetheless.

"Hey, Newt!" I said to him, perhaps a little too excitedly, "can I talk to you for a moment?" He nodded, much to my relief, and walked towards me. As we neared, my hand immediately reached for his, but his glare told me to be more careful - that Frypan was right behind us. Oops.

"Tommy, I know what you want to speak to me about," Newt started, before I could open my mouth, when we reached the forest. It seemed to be our secret spot now, we always talked there. It was a good escape from the rest of the Glade. "I'm sorry about Minho, I guess I wasn't being too careful with my ...looks and expressions around you, and he sorta found out and asked me about it. So I told him. But don't worry, I made him promise to not tell any bloody person."

I was slightly taken by surprise. "Okay," I breathed, "cool."

Newt continued, "he's cool with us, he doesn't mind. You can trust him."

"If you say so..." I trailed off, a little wary. But I trusted Newt, and if he trusted Minho with our secret, I would too. Then I remembered the main reason why I came here. "Newt, why did you tell Minho I was gonna be a runner?"

"It's what you want, isn't it? And who am I to tell you what you want or not want?" He replied, lightly, but his expression showed one of guilt.

"I don't have to be one if you don't want me to," I replied, taking his hand in mine. "Besides, all I want is you."

He blushed, intertwining his fingers with mine. "No really Tommy, I thought about it, and I realised my actions were bloody selfish. Just promise me one other thing, okay? Try to stay safe. Don't try to be the hero and safe everyone, because sometimes you can't."