Degradation

GUILT

I woke up in bed next to Flynn. I turned over to my side, racked with the guilt of what happened the night before. I gazed up and down his features. I looked at his beautiful eyes, shut deep in his slumber.

I looked at his curled eyelashes whilst he was sleeping soundly. The bedsheets hugged around his lower waist, revealing his toned upper body. His arm was lightly touching mine.

I looked across to his cheekbone, still holding the bruise. Then I looked down to his lip, terribly swollen.

I can't believe I almost had sex with the man that did this to him.

I thought to myself, I couldn't keep this any longer from him.

I shifted slightly to make myself more comfortable. As I moved, his eyes started to flicker. He opened his eyes gradually and eventually looked at me, smiling from one ear to another.

He looked so happy. In his own little world.

I couldn't help but smile back at him, finding how good he was looking. I looked at the clock, realising I had 20 minutes until breakfast.

I wish I could tell him later, but I couldn't do it.

"Flynn, I have something to tell you. It's important," I exclaimed.

He placed his hand on my waist, pulling me in.

"What is it, baby?"

He looked at me deeply with his dark eyes.

"I hate to do this. I don't want to... I felt terrible at the time and it never meant anything. He was nothing compared to you I promise-"

Flynn snatched his hand away from my waist. He slowly got up and put on his shirt, that I always used to wear when I stayed over in his bed. He sat on the side of the bed, his forearms pressed on his thighs, and his head hung down low almost into his chest.

"What did you do," he said in a miserable tone.

I looked down. I gripped the sheets over my chest, still unclothed due to last night.

"I- I almost had sex with a boy, yesterday. But we didn't...we stopped. We stopped, Flynn. We.."

My throat began to seize up as if I had wires around my throat. I tried to calm it down, but it was no use.

Flynn sat there, his head still low. I could tell he was struggling with what he had to say.

"I love you, Jennifer."

As he said this, with a deep breath and a catch in his throat, my tears fell at this moment. I have no idea why I did that with Malfoy.

He stood up and fished his clothes off the floor, which were entangled with mine, from our night before. As he slowly put his shirt on, he looked deep into my eyes, that I would always get lost in.

He came up to me, tears rolling down my cheeks. He rubbed them slowly.

"Nothing you could do would upset me."

Tears fell even more. I struggled to look up at him. I had been so wrong. How could I be any more wrong?

He took his hands up to my chin and lifted it so his gaze met mine.

He gave me a reassuring look and kissed me on the lips.

"Get ready for breakfast," He smiled.

Odd. Isn't he angry?

He turned around and put his hand on the doorknob. He turned it slightly, and it creaked open.

Just as he was going to walk out, he halted.