7 : Falling For You

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Y/N'S POV

"One, two, three !"

After shouting out three I fall to the ground exhausted and tired.

"Good job, you've gotten much more skilled with a sword, not to mention better control with your vision as well."

I try to say thanks to Xiao but I'm still trying to catch my breath, so all I can really do is give him a toothy grin. It looks like he's blushing again.... why does he have to be so cute—

Xiao lends me a hand and helps me up so we can walk around and forage for some food. We stayed at Cloud Retainers domain for a well until they eventually got tired of how noisy I was and kicked us out.

For now we're just staying by the table of offerings. Xiao said it's fine and after all the time we've spent together I think he's trustworthy so I'll follow his lead.

"Haiyah !"

Screaming when you're fighting really helps. I raise my hand and make circles of fire emerge from below a wild boar, I've also learned how to control the fires temperature so I can kill AND cook animals at the same time ! Quite conveniently isn't it ?

Me and Xiao get enough food for the both of us and walk back to Mt. Aozang. Xiao just carries me to the top. Being held in his arms is... nice.

We make it to the top and I start preparing our food, I decided to cook us a Sweet Madame since I'm sick of eating Almond Tofu all the time. Xiao doesn't mind.

I serve us our portions and we eat. We quickly finish and head off to bed. I call Xiao over to sleep by my side, he's been more comfortable with doing so ever since we were ambushed that one night, but ever since then it feels like he's been more cautious of our surroundings.

"Xiao, come in here."

He doesn't reply. And instead, looks farther off into the distance.

"Xiao ?"

I stand up a bit and walk over to Xiao and put my hand on his shoulder but he flinches. I retract my hand and he steps back, looks at my hand and then me. He bites his lip and runs off.

"X-Xiao ! Where are you going ?"

I try to chase after him but he's too fast. He's not going his usual speed though so I can keep him in my sights. He travels up the mountain and I see him stop at a cliff and fall to his knees.

I quickly run to him to scream out his name.

"Xiao ! What's wrong ? Why did you run ? We should get back to the camp first though, but please answer my questions when we get there."

"Y/N. Do you know how long I've lived ?"

Unable to answer, I stand there in silence.

"I've been roaming through this world for several millennia. And in that time I've met countless people who I've shared a bond with. You know that much already, but back when I was younger, I got so easily attached to humans like you. So foolish yet so endearing. Your smiles are bittersweet. Though they warm my heart, they also strike me with a feeling of dreadful nostalgia."

"W-what are you saying ? What do you mean ?"

"I guess what I'm trying to say is I've fallen for you, Y/N. There's something about you that just makes me want to give you the whole world. I haven't felt this in a while since I tried to distance myself from you humans. But the cycle continues."

He turns around to face me and I can see his red puffy eyes, and lines on his face left there by tears that he had already wiped away.

"Xiao I—"

"You don't need to say anything. I just want you to know my biggest fear... is to relive that nightmare once again."

"What nightmare ? S-sorry I shouldn't have asked—"

"They died. All of them. Every single person or being or whatever. Died right in front of me. And it was all because I was too weak. If I had just been a little stronger I could've saved them. And just when I thought I did get stronger... it happened again. You nearly died in front of me, and it was all my fault."

"Xiao it wasn't your fault ! It's no ones fault, we couldn't have done anything since we were ambushed and if anyone is to blame it's me ! I was too weak and I held you back !"

"I know that ! So why do I keep blaming me ? Tell me Y/N ! Why ?"

I run towards him and pull him into a tight embrace, he doesn't hug back and simply rests his head on mine and cries. He doesn't make a sound but I can feel his tears.

"I'm tired Y/N... I'm tired of seeing everyone I cherish die before me. And if someday you will die too... I'd rather it be by my hands."

W-what ?

Xiao turns us around so that my back is facing the cliff.

"Xiao what are you doing ?"

I can't do anything to resist. He simply escapes my tight grasp and holds me down by putting his hands on my shoulders.

He slowly starts to walk forward and I move backwards with his steps, unable to resist his strength. Plus I left my vision in the tent.

"Xiao please.. stop this !"

He doesn't stop.

"XIAO PLEASE IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY."

"I'm sorry Y/N."

Before he pushes me off the edge, he pulls me into a kiss. His lips are so soft and we share a sweet tender moment that makes me forget about the severity of my situation. But his kiss doesn't harbor any hatred, and that tells me that he at least doesn't hate me. Just tired of having to outlive all of his lovers. And I understand that. But this is unreasonable.

Oh how I wish I could stay in that moment forever.

He pulls away from the kiss and looks me in the eyes one last time.

"I'm sorry, Y/N."

And with one last tear falling down his face.

He pushes me off the edge.

I fall and all I can think about is how much I loved our first, and last kiss. I'm alright with dying now. But... I long for a life with him.

But there's no escaping now.

It feels like I'm falling very slowly, giving me so much time to think. More time than I should have honestly.

Am I really happy dying here ? W-what happened to my dream of exploring all of Teyvat ? What about all the adventures I'm missing out on ? What about spending more time with Xiao ?

What about what about what about—

————

That was quite a misleading chapter title wasn't it ? Ehe—

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