IN YOUR MIND. fezco

xviii. investigation

xviii. INVESTIGATION

Rays of warm sunlight delicately crossed the white curtains, landing on Lulu's bare back, the lower portion of her body covered by the bed sheets. She yawned longingly, extending her sore limbs all over the mattress. She looked around to notice she was all alone and, for five minutes, she wondered if she had simply had a very graphic and explicit dream involving Fezco.

Her eyes lingered on her naked body and she sighed as she discovered some light purple marks on her chest. Not a lot, but just enough to make her smile widely at the memory.

She wanted to remember this moment forever. And the sun coloring her room like a movie shot gave her an idea.

Yeah, Lulu has like an impressive collection of nudes. And they fucking look pro. Like, I don't think I've ever seen someone take pictures of themselves the way Lulu does. Like, work of art type of pics.
She never even sends them to anyone... well, she did send a few to Dario a long time ago but she never shows her face.
I just hope she never gets hacked or anything.

Lulu put her phone down and noticed a small note on her bedside table.

« hey lulu didnt wanna wake you up, i had to go to the station. i had a really really good time you know... swing by when you want, fez »

She smiled even harder, feeling her heart racing in her chest and she jumped into the shower, feeling revitalized for the day. She poured herself a cup of coffee and joined her sister in the living room. She frowned when she realized her mother wasn't home. Once again.

"Hey, Z," Lulu said, "You seen mom this morning?"

Zahia shook her head, "No..."

"Okay, what's with the face?"

Zahia pointed a finger at a notebook on the coffee table, "I went through her stuff."

Lulu furrowed her eyebrows and sat next to her sister, "Is that her... diary?"

Zahia nodded as she flipped through the pages, "All she talks about is how she misses dad and how her life is ruined without him."

Lulu grabbed the notebook and started reading a few passages.

— Life doesn't even feel like it anymore. It's all bland and dull like en endless winter night. I have spent years trying to find a balance and he was the only one who made my life worth living. I could taste every feeling when he was by my side. Now, the only thing I feel is the numbness. —

— I can't even hate him for leaving us. I could tell he was drifting away. At first I thought he had an affair. I don't even know if I would've liked that option better or not. —

— I miss him so much I can't even express it properly. I feel so much pain I have the impression that I am the pain now. —

Lulu had to look away at some point, realizing she had never really paid attention to her mother's internal distress. Their father's departure had literally destroyed her and no one had been there to help her.

Zahia placed an arm around her sister's shoulders, flipping to the last page, "Look... I-I don't know what she's talking about but... I guess that's why she's always gone?"

— I think I found the place. I think I know where...
Yes, I know. And even if I have to pretend for years and give them all the money I have, I will. I will do anything. —

The two sisters shared an equally scared glance as Lulu understood there was just one thing she could be talking about, "Do you think she tracked dad and... found him?"

"I don't know... but this whole thing is making me feel uneasy," Zahia admitted, "Like... what if she did? You've seen how crazy she's been acting, right?"

"Yeah... I've never seen her like this before."

"What if she found this... cult thing or whatever and is being manipulated and ends up leaving like dad?" Zahia said as she started breathing faster.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Lulu said, placing her hands on her sister's shoulders, "Hey, Zahia, breathe slowly. Hey, look at me!"

"I-I'm scared, Lulu!"

Lulu put her forehead against her sister, "I know... I'm scared as well. But, please, please, don't freak out. We don't even know what's happening for real."

"Yeah... but we know it's not good," Zahia said as she wiped the tears from her face.

"Yeah, but don't panic too much," Lulu replied, "We'll try and talk to her when she's around, okay?"

Zahia let out a whimper of pain and curled herself in her sister's arms as the two tried to enjoy their company in the house that did no longer look like a home to them both.

I wish Lulu would've told me that her family situation went from partially okay to chaotic in a few months. Really, I wish.
I know you all might think I'm a hypocrite for saying that when I could have just asked her if everything was fine. But, once again, when Lulu wants to hide the mess... let me tell you something... she fucking hides the mess. Like a professional.
And I had my mess to deal with as well. So, I texted her saying I needed her help figuring out what the hell was going on with Jules and she pretended she was perfectly fine.

rurue
yo lulu i need you

lulu
whats going on??

rurue
nah dw its cool
but i need your brain
to figure something out
its about jules

lulu
sure i'll come around

rurue
thank you!!!
you're the goat

I mean, I could hand her my life and she would find a way to fix everything. Sometimes, I think I underrate Lulu in my mind because of how much I love Jules. And I think she knows it.
And that's the worst part. Because I think she'll always be there for me. Until the day she isn't anymore because I wasn't there for her so many times...

( ... )

a/n so a lot of infos in this chapter right? what do you think is really going on with lulu and zahia's mother? and do you think rue and lulu are going to drift apart because of everything happening?