The Twenty Year Itch

Part 15: Fight or Flight

"In other news today, Emma Watson and long term boyfriend Leo Robinson have just announce that they will be getting married soon.

The couple started dating back in the fall of 2019 and though the Little Women's movie starlet hasn't been in the public eye in nearly a year- she says she is extremely happy to be finally settling down with the man of her dreams..."

Hogs wallop!

Emma doesn't love him!

"Hey, Felts, you okay?" Deirk asks as he brings me over some bbq wings he picked up. It's been two weeks since everything happened and I am still in excruciating pain.

"No. I need to stop this. Emma can't marry him. I should've never gave into that prick."

"Who?"

"Leo. But if I didn't he'd ruin her career and hurt her. What am I going to Deirk?"

"What can you do? You show up to that wedding and he can follow through with his plan. You said he has a lot of friends everywhere right?"

"Yeah."

"Then maybe you should do an Archer and go on a rampage. Up the line until you get what you want."

"How? Just go up to people and say 'hey arsehole- do you associate with Leo Robinton? Yeah- well take this you bloody bastard!' And then beat the shit out of them? Yeah cause that works in real life."

"Well- isn't your one friend in make up production? Can't they just like- ya know- Mrs. Doubtfire ya?"

"That's not a terrible idea. Then what?"

"Well Leo has the company right? Get in good and work it out from the inside." It's not a shitty idea. Not in the slightest.

"Let me make a call. This could work. I'll need an understudy for myself though...and to watch Willow. Poor darling can't do anything with her broken leg." I say and stand up.

"Well don't worry. I'm sure we can get everything sorted out."

***

Sitting in my friend Devin's place- I look around at all of his stage make up and masks she's made over the years. She's great at she does and honestly I have no doubt she can help me pull this off.

"So what are we thinking?"

"Something completely different than myself.  I don't want to look anything like me." I say and Devin smiles warmly and presses a kiss to my cheek.

"Well, I think I know just what I want to do. It'll be my best work yet." She happily chirps as she grabs a bowl to start making plaster. "First things first you need to shave."

"Okay so no beard."

"No- everything. All your body hair from your head to you balls."

"You're joke right?!"

"Absolutely not. This is a serious matter. I would not joke. In my bathroom you will find razors and wax." My eyes widen and she pushes me in the direction of the bathroom. "Do you have your counterpart here?"

"Josh- yeah- he's parking the car."

"Good. I'll need to cover him first and then deal with you."

"Alright. You're the genius." 

We will pull this off. My friend Josh is a nobody who I barely see ever- but he's a good friend letting me hijack his face more or less while he becomes me. Devin has a lot on her plate, but she's a perfectionist and an artist so if he and I don't look exactly alike- we'll have a problem. It helps that we are the same height and same build- roughly- so it shouldn't be too hard to pull off.