You Are My Humanity | Springtrap x Female Reader

Hey Guys, I'm Back!

So...... I dunno how to start this. Happy 2021, I guess?

Yeah, it's been a while. I've been battling a lot of demons. I just finished my Christmas break from school, and it made me realize just how bad my habits had been.

I finally got a job in late-august of 2020. I work morning shift on weekends, and closing shift on weekdays. Honestly, its all getting to me. When I started this job, I was worried the only issue I'd have with moving around so much is maybe running my blood sugar too low, but instead I was awarded with much worse. I found out through agonizing pain and an emergency room visit that I had a condition called plantar fasciitis, a condition caused by repetitive injury to the large muscle on the underside of the feet. It causes shooting pain and can be easily discovered by a symptom that causes even more pain after you stand up if you've been resting awhile. I makes you feel like you need to walk on the sides of your feet just for relief.

I had to buy basic work shoes with special insoles and discovered I probably can't ever wear anything with a heel ever again. I also learned that the bones in my feet are slightly deformed enough for my soles of my shoes to shift inwards after a long enough time. So I can really only wear plain, protective shoes and nothing fashionable.

I also found out last year that my mom had scoliosis in the lower vertebrae of her back, which is probably why I have such crippling back pain at such a young age. Sometimes I lay on the hardwood floor of my living room trying to align my spine enough for gravity to pop it back in place, because the pain makes me want to cry. I haven't been taking this year very well, and it shows. Honestly, my sleep schedule is so messed up, I don't even know if it counts as normal or nocturnal some days.

About my bad habits. I really haven't been taking care of myself, because on my night shifts, I sometimes forget to eat at all until I get home at night. It's really bad and has caused me to be ravenous some days, and I buy a ton of sugar on impulse. I'm trying to get better about that. I haven't even had time or energy to even think about this story, and I have no clue where i'm going with it anymore. I've just been so stressed. I even witnessed my dog having a seizure, and it reminds me that he's 9 already and I don't want him to leave me, it makes me want to cry. I had my first meltdown at work too, and considered quitting, but I could never do that to my coworkers. I know I'm not the fastest or best, but I try my best, and that's what counts.

I know this isn't what you asked for since you're obviously here for this story, but I finally found time to start one of my newer stories that has been sitting in my drafts for probably half a year now. I've probably already mentioned it, but it's called Heart of Gold and a Soul to Match. It's an Undertale story that I'm really invested in as of late. I'm asking you guys if I should take a risk and post the first chapter here, or on my main platform A03. It's over 2000 words and I spent days trying to make the pieces fit. So this is up to you guys, but I'm afraid that my story will be stolen again, and I have absolutely no power to stop it.

I really hope 2021 will drag us out of this pit of depression, anxiety, and loneliness. I miss human interaction. I wish you all well and would love to hear your feedback on my new story. I think if that one does well, I'll pick up on this one, but I just want to cry with how hopeless I feel that everything I write here will end up of some Vietnamese theif's website.

Wishing you all a happy new year,

Foxy