the blue passion flower ~TaeJin~

Chrysanthemum

The airport was crowded, so many people were sitting in a waiting seat with luggage by their side. Some of them were lonely, some of them couples and some of them with a kid or two. Seokjin’s eyes mostly lingered on the lonely ones who even had no one to say goodbye at the very last moment. He wanted to go and hug each of them, wish a happy, safe and comfortable fly for them and assure them that they may find someone that cares for them to be right next to them on their next flight. But he didn't, or better to say he couldn't. Do you know that pain of leaving when you look back expecting to see a face waving goodbye at you but all you see is a dark abandoned corner? There won't be any reason to return then. All you can do is look ahead and not to stumble and fall on the pit ahead waiting for you.

He was occupied with the boy next to him. He was busy savouring Taehyung’s warmth and existence next to him. For a really long time he wouldn't be able to feel Taehyung, his warmth, his adorable flower scent and his comforting aura. He wouldn't be able to have the younger boy, his lover, in his arms like now. Like now that Taehyung was entangled to him sticky and was nuzzling in his neck, breathing softly as Seokjin ruffled his hair and inhaled his hair shampoo and exhaled a sigh instead.
Taehyung was next to him solidly, he was right next to him and Seokjin missed him. He was missing him already and he couldn't imagine two years without him. He couldn't imagine even a day without his lover by his side, especially after what happened. Since Moonbyul’s incident, they got closer, they got more attached, they got more oral and bold towards their affection and love. They hugged more, loved harder and kissed deeper. And now he couldn't have any of them except Taehyung’s voice, texts and if their time-zone and works let them a mere video call.

They both discussed a lot, talked about how they would handle their lives without one another. They understood that patience, trust and love were enough for them to pass this two years and even if they missed a lot but still Seokjin was in deep sorrowful pain as he watched Taehyung emptying his side of the closet. He ached when Taehyung talked about where he was staying with his manager on the other side of the world. It was a misery to watch Taehyung excitedly talking about New York and the wildness of the city and the modern mindset and the modernity, the newness.
But what was more painful was Taehyung’s tears every night since he said he was going to go. It was painful to see Taehyung was talking loudly about a place he planned to visit in New York and suddenly his eyes would stick to their blue passionflower and the excitement would replace with pain and sadness.

“I love you” Taehyung whispered in his ears and subtly planted a kiss on his earlobe.

Seokjin turned to him and kissed his temple as he whispered “I love you more” back to him.

“Don't forget me, okay?... please” Taehyung whimpered painfully and Seokjin could feel his neck wettening.

“Yah, it is not like we won't have any connection. We passed that era baby… we can write letters, we can send texts, we can call, we can video call, skype or whatever… there won't be any difference…” Seokjin said with a chuckle and amusement along with his words.

“I won't have you when I sleep…” Taehyung muttered. Seokjin wanted to say ‘so stay, I will keep you warm at nights and anytime else’. But he didn't, he kissed Taehyung’s cheek.

“I will make sure to ship a plushie for you as soon as I leave this airport so you can sleep with it.” Seokjin teased.

“You better do…” Taehyung muttered as he nibbled on Seokjin’s skin.

“I will baby…” Seokjin said at the same time with the voice that asked passengers for the New York flight to get on the airplane.
They stood up in a rush and looked at each other before hugging. It was the end of it, they wouldn't have the same hug for a really long time. They wouldn't feel it and Taehyung had tears in his eyes again.
Seokjin carried one of his luggage while Taehyung carried another one till they stopped at the gate that Seokjin couldn't pass. They hugged each other one more time, Taehyung wrapped his arms around Seokjin and kissed him deeply avoiding the weird looks other people were shooting at them.
When they parted, Seokjin pulled out a small flower from his pocket that he was careful to not let it perish and get damaged in his pocket. Just one flower and it was tiny. But what it meant, what it resembled was a pain for Seokjin. Goodbye.

“Chrysanthemum?” Taehyung asked with more tears swelling in his eyes.

“Just a memory for the future where we will show this to our children and say I gave it to your father and we were so strong and so powerful that we tolerated distance and departure but still loved unconditionally,” Seokjin answered with his tears wetting his lashes.

“I will tell them that I am so lucky to have you… that I never thought I will have someone in my life that is an angel… my savior… I love you” Taehyung said and clung back to Seokjin.

“I love you more baby… always,” Seokjin whispered painfully and hugged back tighter.

Seokjin watched as Taehyung left, he watched as the airplane took off and watched it flying in the sky before walking out of the airport mournfully. He got in his car and finally let the tears and pain take over him. He sobbed and he needed Taehyung. The pain was unbearable as he brought himself to Yoongi’s who was watching over Yeontan. He couldn't tolerate being in the home where he was sleeping with Taehyung every night but not since today.

'It's hard to say goodbye for good at any time or any place. It's harder still to say it through a meshed wire. It crisscrossed his face into little diagonals, gave me only little broken-up molecules of it at a time. It stencilled a cold, rigid frame around every kiss.

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Hi everyone! How are you? How life is going on with you?
It's been a while since the last update! As I promised I will be updating this story more regularly by the new year! Updates will be on weekend, either on Saturday or Sunday.
I would love to know your thoughts!!
Take care and stay safe everyone! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜