the blue passion flower ~TaeJin~

Pansy

Seokjin tossed around on the bed. It was dawn and he hadn't slept yet. He was just turning around and around. Hugging Taehyung's pillow sometimes. But it was cold. So so cold. The warmth of Taehyung's body was something else. The tan golden body radiated maddening warmth. Seokjin missed him. He didn't know how many days passed. He didn't count cause he couldn't, he didn't want to track time of how many days he has been away from his beloved lover. Maybe it was almost a week. Cause it was a new week, new Monday, new Tuesday, new Wednesday, new Thursday and new Friday. It was the very first weekend he woke up alone. What happened to their warm and heated mornings. What happened to those kisses and giggles? Seokjin was mad at Taehyung and he was also missing him insanely. No sound of Taehyung, no presence. Not even Yeontan. He hated the loneliness. How did he live his life before Taehyung? When he was all alone with his flower shop, office and hospital? That was it?
He exhaled deeply. Hating the coldness of mattress next to him. This whole lonely time, he could make time for the project. They almost finished it. Some last points and edits, it was ready. He could go back to his regular life then. He flipped on his stomach. Inhaled in Taehyung's pillow. He missed him so bad. Missed him crazily. He really thought about them a lot. What he did wrong? Did he really flirt with Moonbyul really how? How he never felt attracted to Moonbyul? Not even Moonbyul, he never felt attracted to anyone else! Not even a single person. When he had Taehyung in his arms, he was the happiest, the luckiest. No one was as beautiful as Taehyung. No one was as fascinating as Taehyung. No one was Taehyung. And no one ever could be in his place. Seokjin could never see someone else. His eyes were filled with Taehyung and Taehyung and Taehyung.
Seokjin heard his phone beep. He got a message. He was hoping it to be Taehyung. Just a small message. An empty message was alright too. Seokjin pitied himself.

Baby:
The window
Opened one time with you and me
Now my forever's falling down
Wondering if you'd want me now

How could I know
One day, I’d wake up feeling more
But I had already reached the shore
Guess we were ships in the night

Was Taehyung losing hope on them?  Seokjin felt tears on his face. What did it mean? Really? Seokjin cried when he recalled the day he last saw Taehyung. Was this end of them? Was this where he must let go because they never talked to each other? They never talked like they must have? Taehyung's insecurities and Seokjin's ego will ruin the most beautiful magnetic relationship of the world!??
He heard the doorbell. He stood up immediately. Was it Taehyung? Coming back? Or taking his things away? Seokjin walked to the door nervously, naked and wet face. He was sure his eyes were puffy and red. He opened the door only to sigh with disappointment.

"Jinnah! What's wrong?" Moonbyul said. She had a cake box in her hand so she hugged Seokjin with one hand only. Seokjin wanted to cry. But he didn't, he rarely let his vulnerable side to show off. He would do it to the most important people in his life which absolutely wasn't Moonbyul. She was a good friend but not as close as Yoongi or Hoseok. She never could reach there, when especially he had a big fight with his lover because of her.

"You can talk to me Jinnie," she said. Jinnie? How did his mind recall every single time Taehyung called him Jinnie? Every single fucking time and Seokjin just wanted to sob miserably. He was nothing with that boy with his feline eyes and lovely aura.

" can I come in?" Moonbyul said and Seokjin remembered they were still in front of the open door. He nodded slowly and walked to the living room with Moonbyul.

"Sit here, I'll get forks and plates," Moonbyul said. Seokjin stood up, he went to the bedroom and got some decent clothes to wear before walking back to the living room. He grabbed the sprayer and started spraying his Pansy flowers. Petunia represented to think, free thinkers, remembrance, to consider. He wanted Moonbyul to leave already so he could think about how could he save his drowned relationship. He couldn't lose Taehyung easily. Not over some shitty unlogic reasons.
Moonbyul was talking about something Seokjin didn't know when the doorbell rang again. Seokjin felt sweat drops on his back. Was it Taehyung? He would misunderstand, now! He stood up and reached to door with lazy steps. He didn't know what to do if it was Taehyung. He closed his eyes and opened the door. He opened his one eyes to see Jungkook staring at the back of Seokjin.

"Jungkook?" Seokjin called.

"Am I interrupting something?" Jungkook asked. Seokjin shook his head as no instantly. Was it really what they seemed? To be something?

"You're not, I'm Moonbyul. Jinnie's friend." Moonbyul said with a smile. Jungkook furrowed his brows.

"No one calls Jin Hyung like that except Tae-Hyung. " Jungkook said. Seokjin smiled. He must haven't let her call him that. It was special.

"I wasn't aware, anyway I guess I need to go now. I just wanted to stop by" Moonbyul said before grabbing his things. She hugged Seokjin before leaving.

"Hyung, what are you doing?" Jungkook growled the second she left. Seokjin sat on the couch next to Jungkook.

"I miss him" Seokjin whispered. Jungkook's face immediately softened. He placed his hand on Seokjin's neck and massaged it.

"He misses you too. So much" Jungkook whispered.

"I want him" Seokjin whispered. He was overwhelmed.

"So go for him," Jungkook said.

"Is he mad at me?" Seokjin asked.

"He is sad. And devastated. He loves you so much Hyung. How can you hurt him like that?" Jungkook asked " this woman is ruining your life. I know you want to help but shouldn't you think about yourself and Taehyung? You two barely had enjoyed the life the way you should." Jungkook continued. Seokjin rested his head on Jungkook's thigh. He started to drift to his thought land.

"inner demons feed on mind games. trust me, keeping them satisfied with my own twisted way of thinking." Seokjin thought.

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Hi everybody. I'm a bit sleepy right now, so I hope I made a good thing.
Tell me your thoughts about it, 😉
Luv you all💜💜💜💜💜💜💜