DAMAGED // spencer reid

35

Addie's POV:

I watch the elevator doors close in front of Dylan, making sure he is gone before turning back around to face Spencer. He looks quite startled after the whole encounter, his eyes wide as he runs a hand through his mess of hair.

"Spencer, I'm so sorry," I breathe, absolutely mortified, "he had no right to bring you into this mess or confront you about..."

"Our baby. You can say it, you know, I'm not going freak out," Spencer replies, never taking his eyes off of mine.

"Our baby," I repeat, desperately trying to keep my voice from cracking. Spencer must be able to sense the aching feeling in my stomach, because he immediately wraps his arms around me. I freeze because it's very unlike him to give hugs, but also because it's been so long since I've been in his arms. I had forgotten what it felt like over the last two years, but suddenly his scent of mahogany, old books and coffee grounds is like a drug to me. I'm an addict, and no matter how long I stay clean, I simply cannot resist him. I relax into his touch and rest my cheek on his shoulder.

"You are a good person, Addie, he didn't deserve anything from you," Spencer whispers, his words nearly bringing tears to my eyes. It occurs to me that I am a magnet for cruel men: my father, Willow's father, Dylan. Spencer is the only one who doesn't fit into that category. He showed me what it was like to truly be loved, even when I wasn't worthy.

"I'm sorry that I lied to you about when I was leaving for San Francisco," I suddenly blurt out. I can tell Spencer is surprised by the way he tenses. I pull away from our hug and hold him at an arm's length.

"I was selfish and scared. I was afraid that the longer you knew I was leaving, the more time we would spend together. And the longer that I was around you... I knew I would convince myself to stay."

"It's okay, I forgive you," Spencer replies after a long pause, his eyes glassy. I knew I didn't deserve his forgiveness, but I would take it anyway in my desperation.

"Sometimes I wish you had never left, but I know why you did. I just... I just can't help but think what things would've been like if you'd stayed," Spencer says. We stare into each other's eyes, no doubt picturing what our lives could've looked like together. My life with Spencer would have been the best thing to happen to me, but naturally I was a fuck-up who ran away whenever times got hard. I didn't really regret going to San Francisco, it was a dark time in my life that I needed to escape, but I will never be able to get back those two years. Now, I fear, I will never be able to get Spencer back, either.

Spencer's POV:

I was still a little shaken by the events that occurred this morning, I had no idea what an asshole Dylan was. Okay, well, I kinda did. But I'm just glad he is out of Addie's life now, she deserves so much better than him. The problem is, I'm not so sure that Addie thinks that highly of herself.

Work was pretty slow throughout the rest of the morning and, luckily, Hotch didn't get any more cases for us. I was looking forward to going home, eating takeout while reading my book and going to bed early. But, naturally, that wasn't going to happen.

"Dinner at my Dave's tonight! Formal wear and empty stomachs required!" Hotch announced across the bullpen. Everyone immediately gets excited, Rossi's carbonara is to die for. JJ starts talking about how she's excited to bring Will and Henry, Derek is going to bring Savannah, and Addie is no-doubt going to bring Willow if she comes. It hits me that I always show up to team gatherings alone, which is probably why I find myself unexpectedly dialing Katie's number in the bathroom.

"Hello?"

"Katie, it's Spencer," I greet, my voice shaky with nerves.

"Spencer, hi!" She exclaims, I can practically hear her smile through the receiver.