DAMAGED // spencer reid

37

Spencer's POV:

As I press my lips against hers, I feel fireworks exploding throughout my body. This. This is what love feels like. The feeling is consuming, but I would gladly drown in it. I know now that there will never be anyone else for me, my heart belongs to Addie no matter what. Nobody will ever make me feel the way she makes me feel, not even Katie.

Shit, Katie.

I pull away from our kiss reluctantly, Addie's eyes wide and her cheeks flushed. I feel a sinking feeling in my stomach, looking up and noticing that everyone else has stopped dancing to gawk at us. Addie notices too, because she immediately lowers her eyes and curses under her breath.

"Oh. My. God," Penelope is the first one to break the deafening silence. "Am I super drunk or did those two just—"

"I believe both are correct, babygirl," Derek interrupts, stopping her from saying anything else.

"What's going on?" Katie asks, emerging from inside. She furrows her brow when she realizes everyone is staring at Addie and I. A look of realization flashes across her face, and I'm sure she's noticed how close Addie and I are standing and how flushed we both are. Katie flees back inside. I feel absolutely awful.

"Stop staring at the youngsters, this is a party!" Rossi says, thankfully. Everyone starts dancing again, shooting quick glances at Addie and I whenever they get the chance.

"I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that," I admit, feeling incredibly guilty.

"Did you mean what you said?" Addie asks, worry creasing her brow.

"I need to make things right with Katie before I can talk about us. I hope you understand," I respond. She simply nods. Even though I don't want to leave her, I enter the house in search of Katie. I find her standing in the foyer, tapping away on her phone.

"Katie."

"What, Spencer?" She sighs, looking up.

"I'm so, so sorry. I never meant—"

"Look, you don't have to apologize to me. Well, you probably should because you did a really shitty thing, but I'm not ignorant. I could see the way you looked at her tonight, you obviously love her. Am I right?"

"Yes," I whisper.

"Well, I'm not getting in the way of love. We're not dating, so it's not like you cheated on me. But I was invited as your date tonight, which makes me hate you a tiny bit."

"I know, I'm an asshole. Please let me make it up to you."

"For starters, I expect a big tip every time you come to the coffee shop. And a future favor from an FBI agent wouldn't be so bad," she answers, her lips twitching upward.

"Consider it done," I agree. "For what it's worth, I do think you are a seriously great person, Katie. And I know it sounds cheesy, but I really hope we can still be friends."

"I'd like that. Although I still wouldn't show my face around the coffee shop for at least another week if I were you," Katie smirks.

"Can I at least drive you home? I insist."

"My Uber just got here," Katie replies, pointing out the window, "but thanks anyway. Good luck, Spencer," she says before walking out.

I take a moment to gather myself. I kissed Addie. And told her that I love her, let's not forget about that. Jeez, am I feeling brave tonight or am I just an idiot? Probably both.

Does she feel the same about me? She just broke up with Dylan, but she seemed like she wanted to kiss me just as badly as I wanted to kiss her. Is Addie even sober enough to remember that this happened when she wakes up tomorrow? I'm not even sure what I expect to happen, although I doubt it will be simple. Addie and I's relationship ended poorly last time, the last thing I want is for history to repeat itself. But I have to be with her, it's like we're magnets that can't stay away from each other.

I have no idea what I'm going to do or say, but I have to find Addie.

Addie's POV:

I feel like shit. Literal shit. The look on Spencer's face when he pulled away from our kiss was haunting and guilt-ridden. I had basically encouraged him to cheat on Katie, which is the least Spencer-like thing to do. Of course, I feel awful. But he said that he loves me, which has to count for something, right? Or maybe he was just as drunk as I was. But believe me, I'm feeling real sober right about now.

I sit on the edge of the deck and take off my high heels, sighing when the cool grass comes in contact with my feet. The vibe is a little uncomfortable now, which I also feel awful about. People are deciding to call it a night, heading off the dance floor.

"We're going home, do you need a ride?" Hotch approaches me, Beth and Jack behind him.

"No, thank you though," I respond, forcing a small smile.

"For what it's worth," Hotch says, leaning closer to me, "I always knew you and Reid would end up together. Just... don't keep pushing each other away. This is off the record, of course."

"Thanks, Hotch," I respond, grateful. Derek and Savannah are the next to leave, pulling Penelope along with them.

"I gotta get these two to bed, they've been drinking like teenagers. Are you gonna be alright, Ads?" Derek asks. I assure him that I am.

"Hey Addie, we're going to head out. I can't bear to stand on my feet any longer. Henry has a question for you, though," JJ says to me.

"Can Willow have a sleepover tonight?" Henry asks hesitantly, Willow appearing at his side eagerly.

"Of course she can, thank you for asking, Henry!" I tell the boy. "You be good for your Auntie JJ and Uncle Will, okay?" I say to Willow, pulling her in for a hug.

"Yes, Ada!"

"I love you so much, Willie. Go have fun and don't forget your manners!" I call after her as she and Henry have already started racing toward the parked cars. I thank JJ and Will again before they leave. Rossi is the only one still left, but he retires up to his room and insists that I can stay here as long as I'd like. I sit back down on the edge of the deck and look up at the stars, which are now illuminating the darkened sky.

"You're still here," a relieved voice says from behind me, causing me to startle in surprise. Spencer stands in the doorway.

"I didn't know you were still here either," I reply.

"You thought I just left?" Spencer asks, a confused look on his face.

"I don't know what to think anymore, Spence."

"It's over with Katie. Well, I guess we were never really dating, but I ended it," he says after a moment of silence.

"You did?" I ask. He walks over and sits next to me, so close I can practically hear his heart beating.

"I only want to be with you, Addie. It's only ever been you." Spencer confesses. "And I know you just ended a relationship and you might not feel as strongly as I feel, but I am completely and utterly in love with you."

"Spencer, I—"

"If you don't feel the same, just know that I understand."

"Spencer. If you would let me finish, I was going to say that I love you too."

"Really?" He questions, smiling giddily at me.

"Yes, of course you nerd," I laugh, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him. "I want to spend forever with you."

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OK GUYS I'VE DECIDED THAT THERE WILL ONLY BE ONE OR TWO MORE CHAPTERS BEFORE "DAMAGED" IS FINISHED!!

it was honestly a big decision because I love writing, but I feel like I need to take a break for a little while and I've been writing the fanfic for like seven or eight months now. I just wanted to say again how thankful I am for everyone who has continued to read and vote, my story is still pretty obscure so I appreciate more than I can say 💜