The Californian Misery

Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

ALEXANDRA'S POV

I watched Noah as his face lightened with joy upon hearing the news. As a part of my job, it made me happy to give people hope that their loved ones are going to live. Everytime I delievered someone a good news, I loved how it would just make their day better, make them mentally feeling better and ready for anything . Making people have faith that they need to stay strong.

I  hated the part of my job that made me face people with terrible news. I hated looking at people disappointed, I try my best but, sometimes, it's just not enough. Having someone die on your watch is terrible, it's like having a magical power,that only works when you don’t need it. It disappoints me to look at people’s faces after telling them someone they loved just died.

I've seen lots of good and bad things during the last years I worked as a nurse, but I was never more happy than today, when I saw Noah.

It just made me feel better after what I heard and how I see him act, that he is going to get a second chance, a new beginning with his brother. I love how in a moment, your whole life could change, in a blink you can either receive something good or bad. It should make people look at life as a wonderful journey, with a few bumpy roads but all in all, you have fun, you learn, and get to know yourself.

Getting to know ourselves is really hard, some people are just too afraid to get in touch with their feelings. I think it's nice,  that everyone is just unique in their own way. Sometimes we're just afraid to know who we really are, we might spend our whole life thinking we are a certain thing, because we are frightened that the truth might hurt us, the real us might be terrible.  

I thought of it as a blessing to have a job that allows me to help people, save lives, connect with people, and most importantly, get to know myself.

“Are you with us Alexandra?” the male voice broke my thoughts and I saw Noah standing in fromt of me.

“Yeah. Do you need anything?”
“Not really.”
“Cool.”
“Cool.”
“…….”
“………” 

I kept gazing across the room and then stopped to look at his brother, he looked better.

“ Soo, I wanted to say something.”
“Go ahead.”
“Umm I don’t  really know how to say it.”
“Okay.”I shrugged and returned to gazing around the room.

“That’s it? You're not gonna ask me to say it?”
“If you don’t know how to, I can't teach you.”
“I'm serious Alexandra.”
“Well I don’t see myself joking Noah .”

“I'm sorry.”he blurted out.

“You are?”I was a bit shocked  by what he said, I thought he would just let it go.
“Yes, I'm sorry I was being rude to you, although you didn’t do anything to me.”
“…..”
“ Aren’t you gonna say anything?”
“…….”
“Ok, let's just stay silent.”
“I'm not mad about it Noah , I just want you to understand that just because I didn’t burst at you doesn’t mean that what you did was alright. I understood why you did it, it doesn’t mean that I will just forget it. You said it yourself, we can't hurt people just because we know they will understand why we did it. Try to work on yourself Noah, reflect on how you act with people and everything will be better.”

“…….”
“……..”
“I am still sorry.”
“Your sorry doesn’t really matter Noah, I just need you to understand what I said.”
“I did.”
“Oh really, did you?”
“Yes.”he seemed confident about his answer.

“Okay then, it's fine.”
“Okay.”

We spent a few minutes in silence, just looking around, until I was called outside.