The Californian Misery

Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

NOAH’S POV

“Before you say anything I just want to say that you are my family. I can never replace you. I don’t know why I acted that way Jonathon. I don’t want us to live in the past, I hope you get better but if you don’t, I want to be with you. I want to be with you and relive the last years we lost.”
“Can you let me speak Noah ?”
I nodded my head in approvement.

“ I never should’ve ran that day, but there was nothing I could do about it. I didn’t want to disappoint you. But you hurt me Noah , I've spent these past years trying to get over it, but I couldn’t. you don't know how disgusted of myself I've felt whenever you gave me that look of utter discontent while I wasn’t even that wrong. I didn’t deserve that . You shouldn’t have treated me like that.”

“I know I was wrong, it wasn’t entirely your fault. I regret putting the entire blame on you Jonathon. I'm sorry for everything I said. You aren’t a coward. Please, can we just forghet that?” I reached in for a hug but he turned me down.

“No! you can't take me for granted Noah . I could’ve said lots of things to hurt you that day at the cemetery. Just bcause I didn’t choose to, doesn’t mean I wasn’t mad at you for saying that. I'm only apologizing for what I did. You can't just make us forget everything because I'm sick, I don’t want your pity.”

"It's not pity Jonathon, I really forgave you.”

“But I didn’t forgive you, what you said hurt me. You called me a liar and a coward multiple times, not to mention that you repudiated my sickness and accuesed me of lying about something that big. “
“ I shouldn’t have said that, I'm sorry.”
“ I didn’t want to hurt you, I knew you were angry, but it doesn't rationalize the words that came out of your mouth. You were saying them on purpose just to hurt my feelings.”

“I know, I'm sorry I'm willing to say it hundred times for you to belive that I really want us to be back, to spend time together.”

“I want that too Noah , but I can't give it to you that easily, I don’t want you to belive that it wasn't wrong, or that it didn’t hurt me.”
“ So you can't forgive me? Is that what you are trying to say?”

“Not yet Noah , you need to learn your lesson.”
“But do you think you will?”

“ We can be normal, but don’t think I've forgave you until I say so.”

“So can I hang out with you?”
“ Of course, we're family.”

“tu eres mi familia.” I spoke out happily.

“ You had to brag the Spanish didn’t you?”

When we were young, our parents took us on a europe tour. None of us knew how to speak any foreign language and we struggled with that. Spain was our last destination, and we stayed there for about a month. We made friends for as long as we stayed there and it goes without saying, they were Spanish. They knew English, but whenever we would be playing and something bad happens, I would hear one of them speak a long line in Spanish, when I asked them about it, they said it meant they thank their god for everything they have, even with their loss.

So, one day, being the clumsy self I am, I said that line at school, believing it meant a nice thing. That was the day I was suspended for 3 weeks, and no lunch break for the rest of the year.

Turns out that line was cursing the day I was born, hoping people with me could die, and cursing the day the earth was made, and lots of other curses. That day my mother gave me a whole speech about how I shouldn’t say something I don’t know about, just because I heard it, or someone explained it. That’s why, I gathered my money, and brought in a Spanish tutor the very next week. It didn’t solve the problem though, but it taught me a lesson, I lost almost 500 dollars on Spanish, so I must use it someday.

“I didn’t learn it for no reason.” We both laughed. And spent the next half an hour recalling back old memories and fun times. 

Forgetting all of our troubles, and our current issue, we had a fun time together, lots of laughters escaped that almost everyone outside could hear us.

“ How's your work going?” he asked me.

“ I actually need to ask you a few things about that. But first, tell me how your job’s been?” I returned the question.

“ I can't take permanent jobs you know, because of my health condition, but I've been going on as a replacent whenever I get the chance to. I stopped since the last six month, but came back once I heard your medical examiner was gone.”
“ Are you doing good? Do you need anything ?”

“ I'm comfortable. I have a medical insurance, it covers up my treatment and my co workers have a public account they transfer money to every once in a while, to help me out.”
“I bet you have lots of money right there.”

“ I do, yeah.”
“ Why don’t you prove it, and give me some to get us some fancy dinner huh?” I smirked, I knew he got that I was joking.
“ You were always broke weren’t you?” he smiled and picked up his wallet from the nightstand .
“ Once you see my apartment, trust me, you'll change your mind.”

“ Well go ahead, get us something good and don’t you dare run away with my money.” He passed me a notebill.

“ I have an idea.” I brought a nearby fishbowl.

“ What is it?” his face was confused.

“ Everyday, I'll pay for everything you want, food and all, and we will put the money in here, when we finally get out of here, we can give it for donation.”
“ When did you become a good person?” he asked jokingly. We both liked to joke with each other in such way .

“ Once you became a sarcastic person."

Then it was it, the first night in ages that I have felt perfect, with my brother and my only family.

Family is everything. This was the whole point of the book. Even if we fight, forgiveness is a must but it shall take time as well. I hope everyone stays on good terms with their families even if not close, they're the only people you have.