Already Gone

Already Gone - 3.

Ryan Valentine ---------->

Mia.

“Push Mia!”

“You can do it Mia!”

 I was screaming and crying. Up until now, I’d been excited about meeting the baby. Now, I’m in agony and I’m tired.

“Just one more Mia.” My mom squeezed my hand as I pushed as hard as I could. It was then I heard the little cry. “Congratulations Mia, you have a beautiful baby girl.”

When everyone was allowed in to see me and my baby, I prepared myself for what was coming.
“Where’s Ryan?” Cole asked casually. Only me, Ryan, Cole and Clarice knew the truth. I shrugged my shoulders. “Surely he should be here, she’s meant to be his child.”

“Have you thought of a name for her?” Clarice asked, obviously changing the subject. I looked down at the little girl. She looked like her dad. I smiled as the perfect name came to me.

“Jamie.” Cole and Clarice smiled. “Jamie Rae Cooper.”

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“Maybe she should be called Valentine?” Ryan asked as he held her. I shook my head. We had been having this discussion for six weeks.

“She’s a Cooper. Besides we aren’t married and it’s the 21st century. It doesn’t cause scandals if a child has the mother’s name.”

“But still, I’m going to be her dad.” 

I sighed and threw the changing bag on the chair. “Ryan, your name isn’t even on the birth certificate. Jamie will think you are her dad. That’s it.” I left him holding her as I got dressed. When I walked out less than half an hour later, Ryan looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “What?”                                                                             
“It’s nothing Mia. Just that, never mind.” He shook his head as I packed a bag of diapers and bottles.

“Ryan what?” His staring was making me paranoid.

“Ok, but remember I’m telling you this because I care. Mia, you had a baby six weeks ago; you are not back to your pre pregnancy body and the skirt and top does nothing for you.” I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Oh god. He’s right. I ran back in the bedroom and threw on some sweats and a hoodie.

“I look okay now right?” He nodded as he put Jamie in the car seat. “Okay, we’ll be back later.” I kissed his cheek. Jamie slept the whole way to Clarice’s house with the radio on low. Every day I loved her more and more. My heart ached for her, knowing she’ll never know her dad. James. Jamie was what his friends used to call him. When we pulled up outside Clarice’s house, I gently took the car seat out and carried her inside.

“Mia, she gets more beautiful every time I see her.” Clarice gushed over her. I sat on the couch as Cole stared at me.

“What?”

“Mia, I speak for all of us, us being me Clarice and the gang, and please remember, we love you.” I raised an eyebrow. “Mia, you have a hot body. Why the hell are you hiding it under baggy clothes?”

“I’m just not comfortable yet. Still got a little baby weight.” Personally I thought I looked good considering Jamie was only six weeks old. But Ryan wouldn’t lie to me. He’s been honest with me from day one. Me and Clarice left Jamie with Cole and we went to make lunch. Walking through the lounge I couldn’t help but look at the photographs on the wall.

Me and Clarice in our cheer uniforms.

Cole, James and the guys playing football.

Us on the beach days before he left me.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and reminded myself it’s for the best he doesn’t know. We graduate high school in two weeks. He’ll be going to college. Maybe he’ll go to UCLA and look for me. Maybe then we could be a family. But I’m with Ryan now. He’s attached to us. We, I, can’t break his heart just like that. I need him. Jamie needs him.

 “So how’s your new place coming along?” Clarice interrupted my thoughts.

“Okay I guess. There’s so much to do. It’s hard with Jamie because she needs so much attention and Ryan always has things to do but everything will be okay. And when graduation is over, it will be a breeze. I can finally just get on with things.”

“Speaking of graduation. I spoke to James last night. No, before you ask, I didn’t say a word. He didn’t mention you either. But he’s going to Berkeley in New York. He’s not coming back to California.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“How’s your speech coming along miss valedictorian?” I teased. Swiftly changing the subject.


 

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I could see my mom and Craig sat with Jamie on her knee. The big day had arrived. Graduation. To the left of me, Danny, a friend of Ryan’s. Actually the only friend of Ryan’s I liked. To the right, Lewis. James’ friend and former neighbour. Danny squeezed my hand and I smiled. Thankfully Ryan was all the way at the back. If he had managed to stay this long. Cole sat in front of me and I just knew he was smiling at Clarice. After Prinicpal Jones had spoken for what felt like an eternity he called on Clarice to give her speech.

“Thank you Prinicpal Jones. Class of 2008. Parents, guests, faculty. Tonight marks the end of an era. Years of books, plays, dances and sports have all led to this gratifying moment. As we, the graduating class of 2008, sit here watching as the last of our high school careers fade into twilight and nervously awaiting what new adventure tomorrow will bring, it is important that we share a moment to reflect and appreciate the enormity of our fine accomplishment. For tonight's graduation marks not only our passage from the halls of High School, but is also a declaration of our commitment and effort. Graduation is a time to look fondly upon memories which have been made over the past three years. I am sure all of us have our own memories which we hold close to our hearts and make us grin when we think of them. Events which become very vivid in my mind are football and basketball games, dances, pep assemblies, at least the ones from our sophomore and junior years, and especially time spent with a group of friends just doing whatever. It hurts to think of all these memories and then realize this time period in our lives is coming to an end. From the lyrics of Dave Mathews, "So why would you care, to get out of this place, you and me and all our friends, such a happy human race ... As we all go our separate ways ... I will remember." Well we can all finally kick back and relax, because we finally made it to graduation day. All the stressful and tiring all nighters that have tested most of our limits of sanity have finally paid off and they can finally be forgotten. Some of you let it come down to the wire about whether or not you would be walking with all of us, but you all managed to come through in the end. This is a huge accomplishment, because as all of you have probably noticed our class has diminished drastically since our freshman year. Whether it was due to them moving away, dropping out, or other problems they aren't here to graduate with us, which is a sad thing, but the great thing is that all of us have stuck it out and have earned the honor and privilege of being able to walk down the aisle with all of our friends and fellow classmates on this night of celebration. Many of us have been challenged by difficult schedules and extracurricular activities such as sports and work, but we still managed to balance it all and get what needed to be done, in on time. I would like to congratulate all of us for achieving this wonderful and unifying event. However now that we have finally made it to graduation and are going to receive our diplomas it isn't time to just stop functioning and doing things. This is the time to push forward into the next journey of your life whether it means going to college and getting a degree, joining the military and exploring the world, or just working full time in job, or being a mother. Whatever it is it's a good thing as long as you aren't just remaining idle and doing nothing with your lives. The time for adventure and exploring is now and hopefully all of us will rise to the occasion and seize it like we all have done to get here. Good luck to all of you on your future endeavors. Thank you!”